Way back in school I remember someone telling me that earning my friendship/trust was like trying to feed a wild deer. They see the food but are really skeptical at first. They think in their deer heads, "I'm starving, but this could be a trick." Then after much coaxing and soft cooing they approach slowly, ready to bolt at the first sign of danger. Then they reach their head out, snatch the snack and trot off to a safe distance to enjoy and contemplate the exchange. After another snack is presented they come back a little more easily and again the next time a little more easily until they pretty much follow you around like a puppy with trust. You forget this is a wild and free animal they are so friendly now. They'll come back day after day waiting on treats until you let them down for a few days with no treats. Sadly one day they do not return and you'll never see your wild animal friend again.
I think I've honed on to this analogy a bit to the point that its unhealthy. Not that I try and act out this weird type of fulfillment of the analogy but it really does kind of fit me to a 't'. (Used to.)
Really anyone's trust should be treated as fragile and delicate, but I think I may have taken my trust to deer level.
I like my deer trust. Its like my gut feelings. They never let me down and they are always protecting me.
My new boyfriend is like a weird contradiction. A hunter and an animal tamer in one.
He watched from a distance, didn't need to approach me, acted all nonchalant, and deer me just ran on over and ate out of his hand on the first attempt.
This terrifies me.
Deer me does not run headfirst toward danger.
But my gut is a traitor too.
It says go on, this guy's freaking awesome.
Deer me doesn't care he wears camo and totes a gun.
Gut agrees with deer.
And actually Melody is reeling.
I don't talk my head off like this new Melody talks. I don't share feelings like this new Melody spouts off.
With every wonderful hunter bear hug, tidbits of Melody get squeezed out. Who is this person? I like new Melody.
This guy is good.
Not good in a 'player' way, but in a wholesome, salt of the earth, I want to bake him a pie and smell his neck and sit as his feet like a happy deer/person should.
He's a Hunter.
"Just because it's the middle of night
That don't mean I won't hunt you down
'Cause up, in, deep inside
It's pullin' me and I want your love
You and I should be gettin' it right
Ain't no sense in you holdin' on down
If I can't have you, nobody can
This an animal singin' that'll hunt you down
I show my teeth
And I hope you know that look in my eyes
I got lightnin' speed
I won't hesitate to rescue what is mine
Well, hold up baby, what's goin' on?
Tell the truth, I wanna know
What you're doin' when we go
Somethin' say you ain't allowed
You say, "Baby keep holdin' on"
What you mean? I've been holdin' on
I ain't ever smelled this before
Somethin' say it's time to go
Just because it's the middle of night
That don't mean I won't hunt you down
'Cause up, in, deep inside
It's pullin' me and I want your love
You and I should be gettin' it right
Ain't no sense in you holdin' on down
If I can't have you, nobody can
This an animal singin' that'll hunt you down
Taxidermy is on my walls
With the full description of the killin' calls
I'm a hunter
Cupid, thank you for what you did
But you can't aim and get what I get
I'm a hunter..."
-Pharrell
You get the point.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Friday, June 5, 2015
Company Theft
Someone stole my lunch from the company break room refrigerator today. Its odd how personal we take things sometimes. Especially since it was clearly marked with my name. I was busy working away while someone was snacking on delicious leftovers from JLs and knowing it belonged to someone else, and that they may not eat lunch today because of it.
Actually, it wasn't the fact that my lunch was stolen that really kind of put a damper on my day. It brought back an old memory of one of the first times I realized my marriage was doomed.
One of my love languages is acts of service. I think I express this a lot in food/cooking actually.
I love food, it means a lot to me actually, but I'm really not picky, so I'm one of those girls that annoyingly says "I don't care" when asked where I want to eat out.
But what the guy doesn't realize is that this isn't us being a 'ridiculous woman that can't make up our minds'.
Its really us expressing that we love you and want you to be happy with where we go much more than we care about what we're craving. We are putting your needs above ours again. When I cook I also tend to give the choicest cut of meat or the biggest portion of food to my loved one.
Hell, I even do this with Jen just cause I love her so much.
It was my act of service.
Even though I really wanted that steak that was cooked on the perfect part of the grill, I will take the charred remains from the center just so you don't have suffer or leave the table the slightest bit still hungry.
When I'm at the grocery store, I only think about what my significant other likes to eat and usually only stock their favorites at my place.
Its just how I am. My act of service is being selfless in the eating department.
The lunchroom theft today just brought back an old memory I thought I was long since over.
One day I was super stressed at work, I was overwhelmed and upset over a mistake I made, and I didn't even have a chance to eat breakfast, so when lunch came around I was super hungry. But in order to get my head above water I decided to work through lunch. I told my ex husband (husband at the time) that I couldn't go out with them today, and as he was leaving for lunch to please pickup something for me at the place him and the other engineers were eating when they were done. He gave me a nod and left.
1:00 rolls around and I feel a little light-headed from not eating, so I wonder if he's made it back yet from lunch. (Engineers are notoriously long lunch breakers). Sure enough he was sitting in his office, sipping on the remainder of a soft drink from his meal and typing away on his computer. The sight of me in his doorway didn't even jog his memory on his neglect. (Isn't there some sort of innate need to provide for their mate in a man's DNA?)I gave him a half-smile and walked away, determined not to let it get to me, that it was just a small oversight.
But as the hours passed and I munched on a few pieces of gum in an effort to dampen the pit in my stomach I thought was food related...I realized that not once had I crossed his mind while he was out at lunch, in order to have completely forgotten.
He didn't know I was stressed, he didn't care I was hungry, and he didn't think me important enough to remember.
This wasn't just one meal. This was a good example of our marriage.
And now, when I think about the man standing in front of the grill helping me cook my current meals. Making sure all pieces are equally cooked, helping me clean the plates afterwards, load the dishwasher, and giving me impeccable sex later that night, I wonder at how I got so lucky with this man, this time around. I don't have to sacrifice as much with my acts of service, because he serves me equally. He loves me equally.
So, next time you're girl says "I don't care," when you're trying to pick a place for dinner. Don't get angry at her. Kiss the hand you are holding, and say "I love you".
Because in essence, this is what she just said to you.
Actually, it wasn't the fact that my lunch was stolen that really kind of put a damper on my day. It brought back an old memory of one of the first times I realized my marriage was doomed.
One of my love languages is acts of service. I think I express this a lot in food/cooking actually.
I love food, it means a lot to me actually, but I'm really not picky, so I'm one of those girls that annoyingly says "I don't care" when asked where I want to eat out.
But what the guy doesn't realize is that this isn't us being a 'ridiculous woman that can't make up our minds'.
Its really us expressing that we love you and want you to be happy with where we go much more than we care about what we're craving. We are putting your needs above ours again. When I cook I also tend to give the choicest cut of meat or the biggest portion of food to my loved one.
Hell, I even do this with Jen just cause I love her so much.
It was my act of service.
Even though I really wanted that steak that was cooked on the perfect part of the grill, I will take the charred remains from the center just so you don't have suffer or leave the table the slightest bit still hungry.
When I'm at the grocery store, I only think about what my significant other likes to eat and usually only stock their favorites at my place.
Its just how I am. My act of service is being selfless in the eating department.
The lunchroom theft today just brought back an old memory I thought I was long since over.
One day I was super stressed at work, I was overwhelmed and upset over a mistake I made, and I didn't even have a chance to eat breakfast, so when lunch came around I was super hungry. But in order to get my head above water I decided to work through lunch. I told my ex husband (husband at the time) that I couldn't go out with them today, and as he was leaving for lunch to please pickup something for me at the place him and the other engineers were eating when they were done. He gave me a nod and left.
1:00 rolls around and I feel a little light-headed from not eating, so I wonder if he's made it back yet from lunch. (Engineers are notoriously long lunch breakers). Sure enough he was sitting in his office, sipping on the remainder of a soft drink from his meal and typing away on his computer. The sight of me in his doorway didn't even jog his memory on his neglect. (Isn't there some sort of innate need to provide for their mate in a man's DNA?)I gave him a half-smile and walked away, determined not to let it get to me, that it was just a small oversight.
But as the hours passed and I munched on a few pieces of gum in an effort to dampen the pit in my stomach I thought was food related...I realized that not once had I crossed his mind while he was out at lunch, in order to have completely forgotten.
He didn't know I was stressed, he didn't care I was hungry, and he didn't think me important enough to remember.
This wasn't just one meal. This was a good example of our marriage.
And now, when I think about the man standing in front of the grill helping me cook my current meals. Making sure all pieces are equally cooked, helping me clean the plates afterwards, load the dishwasher, and giving me impeccable sex later that night, I wonder at how I got so lucky with this man, this time around. I don't have to sacrifice as much with my acts of service, because he serves me equally. He loves me equally.
So, next time you're girl says "I don't care," when you're trying to pick a place for dinner. Don't get angry at her. Kiss the hand you are holding, and say "I love you".
Because in essence, this is what she just said to you.
Friday, July 25, 2014
Dating Game Loser
I think its just starting to hit me that I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to dating.
I was just out of the game too long right in the middle of what should have been my prime dating years.
I barely remember how to flirt.
I think it just comes across as sarcastic.
Been on half a dozen horrible dates, most ended up propositioning for sex.
Then there were two exceptions, that completely baffle me.
The first guy I thought might be someone I could see myself dating longer term, never really asked me out again. He still talks to me regularly, hell, even flirts through text, and snapchat, but never takes the initiative to say, meet me here at this time on this date. I guess I was friend zoned and I didn't even know it. Didn't feel like he felt like I was a friend on that first date and the kiss about knocked my socks off.
But hey, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
I haven't seen him in about 5 months.
The second man is a little older, but I can tell the age difference is a good thing. Finally feel like the man is ready to actually find a good woman and settle down, but at the same time he's willing to take his time. But how slow is too slow? We went on a second date last night and again, the conversation was wonderful, and he's sweet and listens, but he hardly looks at me, like really looks at me. I appreciate the fact that I didn't look up and find him checking out my boobs all night, but I don't really like the fact that he's not looking either. A girl wants to be desired. Plus, hes very hands off. The first date he touched the small of my back once to lead me away from our table and a hug at the end of the night, but nothing else. The second date involved dinner and a movie, and I was so excited to maybe get some hand holding in. But, nothing. He touched my knee for about a minute because I leaned over to say something to him in the movie. But after a few short strokes of my knee (that I'm sad to say was enough to ignite a fire in me anyway), he took his hand away and didn't put it back. I was even sad to say goodbye, when he gave me a short hug and a quick peck on the lips. Just a peck. It seemed more respectful than worshipful. And I really want my lips to be worshiped in a kiss. Still, it left me wanting more. Is that the point? Or am I friend-zoned again?
I get that I may not be the most beautiful woman, have the best figure, or the best banter, but I just want to feel like a woman again. It been so long since I've held hands or had someone touch my knee that I feel like I'm wasting away. Heck, it feels scandalous to get a pedicure and the person massages my feet! Maybe I just need to be patient and see this through slowly, knowing that the longer I wait the more appreciation I'll feel for the right man.
\m/
I was just out of the game too long right in the middle of what should have been my prime dating years.
I barely remember how to flirt.
I think it just comes across as sarcastic.
Been on half a dozen horrible dates, most ended up propositioning for sex.
Then there were two exceptions, that completely baffle me.
The first guy I thought might be someone I could see myself dating longer term, never really asked me out again. He still talks to me regularly, hell, even flirts through text, and snapchat, but never takes the initiative to say, meet me here at this time on this date. I guess I was friend zoned and I didn't even know it. Didn't feel like he felt like I was a friend on that first date and the kiss about knocked my socks off.
But hey, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
I haven't seen him in about 5 months.
The second man is a little older, but I can tell the age difference is a good thing. Finally feel like the man is ready to actually find a good woman and settle down, but at the same time he's willing to take his time. But how slow is too slow? We went on a second date last night and again, the conversation was wonderful, and he's sweet and listens, but he hardly looks at me, like really looks at me. I appreciate the fact that I didn't look up and find him checking out my boobs all night, but I don't really like the fact that he's not looking either. A girl wants to be desired. Plus, hes very hands off. The first date he touched the small of my back once to lead me away from our table and a hug at the end of the night, but nothing else. The second date involved dinner and a movie, and I was so excited to maybe get some hand holding in. But, nothing. He touched my knee for about a minute because I leaned over to say something to him in the movie. But after a few short strokes of my knee (that I'm sad to say was enough to ignite a fire in me anyway), he took his hand away and didn't put it back. I was even sad to say goodbye, when he gave me a short hug and a quick peck on the lips. Just a peck. It seemed more respectful than worshipful. And I really want my lips to be worshiped in a kiss. Still, it left me wanting more. Is that the point? Or am I friend-zoned again?
I get that I may not be the most beautiful woman, have the best figure, or the best banter, but I just want to feel like a woman again. It been so long since I've held hands or had someone touch my knee that I feel like I'm wasting away. Heck, it feels scandalous to get a pedicure and the person massages my feet! Maybe I just need to be patient and see this through slowly, knowing that the longer I wait the more appreciation I'll feel for the right man.
\m/
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Sassy Niece
Its fun having a niece now, since the other 3 are all boys. They get to wear hair bows and cutsy pink onesies. The personalities are all so different too. Boys just act like boys, but Coralena kind of has an attitude. She'll be beating up the boys in no time.
I found it hilarious that I couldn't get a decent picture out of her. The boys just coo and smile and snapping a shot is easy. She's fierce. Enjoy the captioned interchange:
Her: "NO, I Don't want this STINKING BLANKET! Its HOT!"
Me: "Aww, honey, you are probably chilly aren't you?" (Places blanket back)
Her: "Are you freaking kidding me? I said NO!"
Me: "OMG, this bow is so cute, let me just get one shot with the bow on."
"Huh, it kinda looks like she's flipping me the bird...."
I found it hilarious that I couldn't get a decent picture out of her. The boys just coo and smile and snapping a shot is easy. She's fierce. Enjoy the captioned interchange:
Her: "NO, I Don't want this STINKING BLANKET! Its HOT!"
Me: "Aww, honey, you are probably chilly aren't you?" (Places blanket back)
Her: "Are you freaking kidding me? I said NO!"
Me: "OMG, this bow is so cute, let me just get one shot with the bow on."
"Huh, it kinda looks like she's flipping me the bird...."
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Reunited
I'm finally reunited with my baby, Jane, my Harley 883. I went and got her out of storage two weekends ago and I've been riding her around with the nice weather. Its been chilly today though, and I think its supposed to rain and get cold for another few weeks. I got her a cover, since I live in an apartment and don't have a garage but it hasn't arrived yet.
My poor babies need a garage. Yep, I said babies. I finally got rid of the old red, memory riddled, POS, and I got me another Jeep. A little classier this time, I went with a Liberty. Still 4x4 but a little more passenger friendly than my Wrangler.
I've started my Motorcycle Journey 'buy list' for the trip I'm taking next year. The cover was the first item on my list. I've gotta budget my gear because some of it can be really expensive. Next month I'm getting the 1-person compact tent. April- the go-pro camera, so I can keep my blogging audience updated while I'm on the road (I figured you wouldn't mind having a front row seat when I go over the 7-mile bridge in the keys or come along on HWY 1 in CA). May- compact sleeping bag, June- the motorcycle mounts for the camera and my GPS. July- my new Helmet, I've been using this old helmet now for years and its not quite a perfect fit. August- a new versatile leather Jacket, September I'll do some of the hotel booking for every other night I'm not camping. October I'll buy the motorcycle GPS, November more booking, and December the saddlebags for the bike. I'm so excited about it all. One of my vendors even suggested he set me up with a few riding buddies along the way and a few places to sleep instead of a hotel or on the ground in my tent. I'm not too concerned though, some of my best night's sleep have been under the stars.
\m/
My poor babies need a garage. Yep, I said babies. I finally got rid of the old red, memory riddled, POS, and I got me another Jeep. A little classier this time, I went with a Liberty. Still 4x4 but a little more passenger friendly than my Wrangler.
I've started my Motorcycle Journey 'buy list' for the trip I'm taking next year. The cover was the first item on my list. I've gotta budget my gear because some of it can be really expensive. Next month I'm getting the 1-person compact tent. April- the go-pro camera, so I can keep my blogging audience updated while I'm on the road (I figured you wouldn't mind having a front row seat when I go over the 7-mile bridge in the keys or come along on HWY 1 in CA). May- compact sleeping bag, June- the motorcycle mounts for the camera and my GPS. July- my new Helmet, I've been using this old helmet now for years and its not quite a perfect fit. August- a new versatile leather Jacket, September I'll do some of the hotel booking for every other night I'm not camping. October I'll buy the motorcycle GPS, November more booking, and December the saddlebags for the bike. I'm so excited about it all. One of my vendors even suggested he set me up with a few riding buddies along the way and a few places to sleep instead of a hotel or on the ground in my tent. I'm not too concerned though, some of my best night's sleep have been under the stars.
\m/
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Love is Dark Sometimes
And by dark I mean like Dark Chocolate, bitter and sweet at the same time.
Enjoy your Valentines Day everyone!
Enjoy your Valentines Day everyone!
Monday, February 10, 2014
Weird Sense of Humor
I might have what some people would call an inappropriate sense of humor.
I laugh at the most unfitting situations. The more unsuitable or weird the better.
Like church. I don't think I've ever laughed as hard as I have in a quiet church service, trying to hold it back because you know your mom will bust your ass for acting up. It seems like the situations that call for humor the least are always the ones I can't help but laugh.
Thursday last week was an interesting day at work.
It was around 2:30 and I was filing some paperwork in the other Buyer's office.
The safety specialist goes running down the hallway, and I make a comment to her about "someone must have bumped their head", and immediately start to giggle at the ridiculousness of the situation, even though it probably means someone did get hurt. We hardly ever get a serious situation. Most are bandaid worthy. They make a page over the speaker system shortly after we are he-hawing in her office about having everyone come indoors and go to the breakrooms. This means there is an ammonia leak from the fertilizer plant next door. Instead of quieting down, I start joking about feeling the effects already and we laugh more. About this time, they make another page and tell us to evacuate the premises and drive north ASAP, and I finally have the good sense to shut up.
Emergency vehicles escorted us out of the industrial park.
I feel so bad for having laughed.
Jen gets my silly/weird sense of humor though.
Thats all that matters I guess.
I sent her a Valentine (Its from Game of Thrones):
Our text convos are pretty awesome too:
(Sorry Jen, I use the worst picture of someone in my gallery as everyone's profile pic on my phone.)
It makes it more fun/humorous to receive a phone call with a pic of Jen eating a baby ice cream cone flashing on my screen.
I laugh at the most unfitting situations. The more unsuitable or weird the better.
Like church. I don't think I've ever laughed as hard as I have in a quiet church service, trying to hold it back because you know your mom will bust your ass for acting up. It seems like the situations that call for humor the least are always the ones I can't help but laugh.
Thursday last week was an interesting day at work.
It was around 2:30 and I was filing some paperwork in the other Buyer's office.
The safety specialist goes running down the hallway, and I make a comment to her about "someone must have bumped their head", and immediately start to giggle at the ridiculousness of the situation, even though it probably means someone did get hurt. We hardly ever get a serious situation. Most are bandaid worthy. They make a page over the speaker system shortly after we are he-hawing in her office about having everyone come indoors and go to the breakrooms. This means there is an ammonia leak from the fertilizer plant next door. Instead of quieting down, I start joking about feeling the effects already and we laugh more. About this time, they make another page and tell us to evacuate the premises and drive north ASAP, and I finally have the good sense to shut up.
Emergency vehicles escorted us out of the industrial park.
I feel so bad for having laughed.
Jen gets my silly/weird sense of humor though.
Thats all that matters I guess.
I sent her a Valentine (Its from Game of Thrones):
Our text convos are pretty awesome too:
(Sorry Jen, I use the worst picture of someone in my gallery as everyone's profile pic on my phone.)
It makes it more fun/humorous to receive a phone call with a pic of Jen eating a baby ice cream cone flashing on my screen.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Roll with the Punches
I think I'm a pretty laid back person in general...
But there is that one breaking point when I just fly off the chain:
It was a rough year in 2013, but 2014 doesn't seem to be starting off to such a good start either.
So last year everyone knows I got a divorce. He had sold my baby, the Jeep, just months before, so we were down to just his Toyota Matrix and an old work truck that was a POS. He let me have the Matrix, (money still owed), out of the goodness of his heart. I mostly didn't want to have to buy a car right out of the bag. In Early November I had a low tire at work, thus starting my car fiascos.
I took it to Walmart since its about 3 miles away and they said they couldn't do a repair of course, so I bought 1 tire (they were out of the type of tire I require so I could only get 1 instead of replacing the set). December rolls around and I have another flat. Like really flat. I decide I'm not going to bother with Walmart and take it to a reputable shop here in town. I tell him I've had a few flats lately, and one other looks fishy, but one is just fine (this is odd wearing at different paces.) Sure enough, he calls me that day and says I need new shocks & struts. Plus a buy 3 get one free tire deal, and he throws in an oil change. Goodbye $1300.00. Nice knowing you.
After that things were going fine until we had a really long cold spell, and several of the mornings when we were in the single digits temperature wise I noticed that right after I started my car at the first few stops it acted as though it was wanting to die on me. Sure enough yesterday I was stopped waiting on traffic on a busy street getting ready to pull out and my car dies.
Takes me a full minute with traffic surrounding me to start it again and get going.
This morning one of the tiny cracks that appeared from being behind a semi after they sanded the streets for the icy/snow storms cracked all the way across my windshield just from my putting on the defrost.
At this point, I'm one more malfunction away from becoming a monster.
I am actually considering just having a bunch of friends over so we can destroy the car and get some type of satisfaction and benefit from having the damn thing.
Who wants to come?
\m/
But there is that one breaking point when I just fly off the chain:
It was a rough year in 2013, but 2014 doesn't seem to be starting off to such a good start either.
So last year everyone knows I got a divorce. He had sold my baby, the Jeep, just months before, so we were down to just his Toyota Matrix and an old work truck that was a POS. He let me have the Matrix, (money still owed), out of the goodness of his heart. I mostly didn't want to have to buy a car right out of the bag. In Early November I had a low tire at work, thus starting my car fiascos.
I took it to Walmart since its about 3 miles away and they said they couldn't do a repair of course, so I bought 1 tire (they were out of the type of tire I require so I could only get 1 instead of replacing the set). December rolls around and I have another flat. Like really flat. I decide I'm not going to bother with Walmart and take it to a reputable shop here in town. I tell him I've had a few flats lately, and one other looks fishy, but one is just fine (this is odd wearing at different paces.) Sure enough, he calls me that day and says I need new shocks & struts. Plus a buy 3 get one free tire deal, and he throws in an oil change. Goodbye $1300.00. Nice knowing you.
After that things were going fine until we had a really long cold spell, and several of the mornings when we were in the single digits temperature wise I noticed that right after I started my car at the first few stops it acted as though it was wanting to die on me. Sure enough yesterday I was stopped waiting on traffic on a busy street getting ready to pull out and my car dies.
Takes me a full minute with traffic surrounding me to start it again and get going.
This morning one of the tiny cracks that appeared from being behind a semi after they sanded the streets for the icy/snow storms cracked all the way across my windshield just from my putting on the defrost.
At this point, I'm one more malfunction away from becoming a monster.
I am actually considering just having a bunch of friends over so we can destroy the car and get some type of satisfaction and benefit from having the damn thing.
Who wants to come?
\m/
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Surveyors Delight
I have a weakness for doing surveys.
Back in my poor college years I worked at the OU Poll for a while as one of my side jobs. I did work-study at the Library and the Poll. We would call random people for surveys. They could be about pretty much anything. Once there was a big, high profile, controversial court case taking place in Cleveland County. The OU Poll office was contracted to take a survey on whether people thought the defendant would get a fair trial because it was so publicized and we're a conservative state. Some of the questions I had to ask people would make you cringe (Personal, racist, ridiculous)! But you wouldn't believe some of the responses I received.
It was a very trying job, considering most people do not take part in surveys and this one was a doozy, and very long....
Sadly I was paid minimum wage, so the small incentive on completions was a big deal. Surveyors are people too, and the information is actually very beneficial. How do you think they get those statistics you find so interesting on the political campaign, and how do you think they build the TV schedule you enjoy/don't enjoy?
Now I can't help but feel bad for the person on the other side of the phone, and fill out the TV surveys, etc, that come in the mail. I know those people. They were just like me. Most likely a poor college student just trying to get by.
Why yes, I do have a moment to complete your survey...
\m/
Back in my poor college years I worked at the OU Poll for a while as one of my side jobs. I did work-study at the Library and the Poll. We would call random people for surveys. They could be about pretty much anything. Once there was a big, high profile, controversial court case taking place in Cleveland County. The OU Poll office was contracted to take a survey on whether people thought the defendant would get a fair trial because it was so publicized and we're a conservative state. Some of the questions I had to ask people would make you cringe (Personal, racist, ridiculous)! But you wouldn't believe some of the responses I received.
It was a very trying job, considering most people do not take part in surveys and this one was a doozy, and very long....
Sadly I was paid minimum wage, so the small incentive on completions was a big deal. Surveyors are people too, and the information is actually very beneficial. How do you think they get those statistics you find so interesting on the political campaign, and how do you think they build the TV schedule you enjoy/don't enjoy?
Now I can't help but feel bad for the person on the other side of the phone, and fill out the TV surveys, etc, that come in the mail. I know those people. They were just like me. Most likely a poor college student just trying to get by.
Why yes, I do have a moment to complete your survey...
\m/
Monday, January 27, 2014
Maternal Instincts
Its been a while since I've written. Mostly there has just been a lot of things going on in my life lately. My family has grown considerably since December. My sister had the triplets on January 13th, I have one new neice and two new nephews. CoraLena Annabelle was first at 3lbs 8oz, then Jesse Champion and Josey Wade at 4.4 and 4.10.
They are still in the NICU but they should get to go home soon. My nephew Jeremiah is still the apple of my eye.
I love getting to babysit and having him crawl all over me like a jungle gym. He also likes to point out my tattoos and piercings when we are playing the "Where is Melody's nose, where is Jeremiah's nose, etc" game. I like to make a point and tell him he can get one when he's 18 in front of my sister. She's not amused. With the new babies here, and seeing all the new babies on facebook, I realize just how different my life is than what I thought it would be. Now I realize that maybe motherhood is not in the cards for me, especially after my sister's struggle initially with fertility. I guess it was never my plan, but God's plan. I hope I just didn't let anyone down with all the winding/off-roading I've done on my path. \m/
They are still in the NICU but they should get to go home soon. My nephew Jeremiah is still the apple of my eye.
I love getting to babysit and having him crawl all over me like a jungle gym. He also likes to point out my tattoos and piercings when we are playing the "Where is Melody's nose, where is Jeremiah's nose, etc" game. I like to make a point and tell him he can get one when he's 18 in front of my sister. She's not amused. With the new babies here, and seeing all the new babies on facebook, I realize just how different my life is than what I thought it would be. Now I realize that maybe motherhood is not in the cards for me, especially after my sister's struggle initially with fertility. I guess it was never my plan, but God's plan. I hope I just didn't let anyone down with all the winding/off-roading I've done on my path. \m/
Friday, November 8, 2013
The Heartland
Oklahoma has always been my home.
I've never lived anywhere but here.
The older I get though, the more wanderlust I aquire.
I just put my baby (Harley Iron883) up for the season, and I'm already getting antsy.
The weather is getting colder, the days getting shorter, and slowly my heart's getting mended.
The months are going by so quickly now.
I've never smiled, laughed, drank, conversed, cried, and rejoiced so much in my life.
But there always comes a time in your life where you meet that crossroads.
I think I'm staring at that 'V' in the road right now, squinting at the horizon to try and see what's just past my line of sight.
Some interesting things are in store for me, I can feel it.
Stay tuned.
I've never lived anywhere but here.
The older I get though, the more wanderlust I aquire.
I just put my baby (Harley Iron883) up for the season, and I'm already getting antsy.
The weather is getting colder, the days getting shorter, and slowly my heart's getting mended.
The months are going by so quickly now.
I've never smiled, laughed, drank, conversed, cried, and rejoiced so much in my life.
But there always comes a time in your life where you meet that crossroads.
I think I'm staring at that 'V' in the road right now, squinting at the horizon to try and see what's just past my line of sight.
Some interesting things are in store for me, I can feel it.
Stay tuned.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Adjusting
Just a random update.
It takes a while for one to adjust to so much freedom.
Jodi Foster’s character in Silence of the Lambs tells Hannibal of her time on a distant relation’s farm; how she tried to release the lambs from being slaughtered, but they wouldn’t flee, the fence was open, but they just stood there. They were so accustomed to the captivity they didn’t know or want anything else.
That’s a morbid comparison, but since its October you should allow me certain liberties.
Although it looked (on Facebook and this blog) that I just went wild after the divorce and was having a blast doing anything and everything I could, in reality I was floundering a bit.
I think it helped me to stay busy with nonsense in order to not come to terms with the changes and responsibilities of being alone for the first time in nearly 7 years.
It is exactly that, lonely.
You roll over in bed, and realize you can roll over two more times if you want.
You sit on the couch and have sole control over the remote.
You ride around on your Harley and have no distractions but your thoughts, the fresh air, and the sunshine.
These may sound like positive things, and they are, but they come with a price.
Divorce is not fun, it’s not a picnic, and there are so many emotions going through you, all you can do is ride them out.
I think one of the worst things about divorce is realizing that you can only depend on yourself for strength and support.
Don’t get me wrong, without Jen’s and my family’s support I’m not sure what I would have done, but in the end you go home to an empty apartment and all there is, is silence.
One of the weirdest things about divorce is other people’s reactions to it, the questions, and the fallout. My family pretty much prefers to ignore the whole event, although if either my sister’s husband or my father were to accidentally meet my ex again, I’m not sure everyone would come out of it unscathed. I’ll have you know I did nothing to encourage that, but I strangely take comfort in it. My friends all expect me to badmouth. I’m supposed to be the slighted party, and they are supposed to be biased for me. But we all still work together, and they still have to maintain friendships with him, so I can’t live up to that expectation. When coworkers or friends actually ask the question why, I mostly just differ to the old, “we grew apart,” explanation. Not just to help him or I save face on the job, but because they all tend to get that glassy, glazed-over look if you actually start to explain with some depth.
There is only one person who knows the whole story, probably both sides even, because she was front and center. Maybe someday someone will want to REALLY get to know me I’ll tell the real story, the messy one, the one Jen knows, no holding back, and they will actually be interested. The glassy eyes will be because of heartfelt concern and empathy instead of boredom.
For now, I’m working my ass off, and going back to school.
I’m getting really comfortable with rolling as much as I like in my bed at night.
Being able to commandeer the remote is a privilege I enjoy immensely.
And taking leisurely morning rides unaccompanied on my new Harley are one of the keenest pleasures I have known.
I’d like to think that if Jodi Foster had the time to wait a bit longer on the lambs, instead of grabbing one and taking off running, she would have seen one slowly ease of the pen, look around wearily at first, but then lope off towards the mountains.
It takes a while for one to adjust to so much freedom.
Jodi Foster’s character in Silence of the Lambs tells Hannibal of her time on a distant relation’s farm; how she tried to release the lambs from being slaughtered, but they wouldn’t flee, the fence was open, but they just stood there. They were so accustomed to the captivity they didn’t know or want anything else.
That’s a morbid comparison, but since its October you should allow me certain liberties.
Although it looked (on Facebook and this blog) that I just went wild after the divorce and was having a blast doing anything and everything I could, in reality I was floundering a bit.
I think it helped me to stay busy with nonsense in order to not come to terms with the changes and responsibilities of being alone for the first time in nearly 7 years.
It is exactly that, lonely.
You roll over in bed, and realize you can roll over two more times if you want.
You sit on the couch and have sole control over the remote.
You ride around on your Harley and have no distractions but your thoughts, the fresh air, and the sunshine.
These may sound like positive things, and they are, but they come with a price.
Divorce is not fun, it’s not a picnic, and there are so many emotions going through you, all you can do is ride them out.
I think one of the worst things about divorce is realizing that you can only depend on yourself for strength and support.
Don’t get me wrong, without Jen’s and my family’s support I’m not sure what I would have done, but in the end you go home to an empty apartment and all there is, is silence.
One of the weirdest things about divorce is other people’s reactions to it, the questions, and the fallout. My family pretty much prefers to ignore the whole event, although if either my sister’s husband or my father were to accidentally meet my ex again, I’m not sure everyone would come out of it unscathed. I’ll have you know I did nothing to encourage that, but I strangely take comfort in it. My friends all expect me to badmouth. I’m supposed to be the slighted party, and they are supposed to be biased for me. But we all still work together, and they still have to maintain friendships with him, so I can’t live up to that expectation. When coworkers or friends actually ask the question why, I mostly just differ to the old, “we grew apart,” explanation. Not just to help him or I save face on the job, but because they all tend to get that glassy, glazed-over look if you actually start to explain with some depth.
There is only one person who knows the whole story, probably both sides even, because she was front and center. Maybe someday someone will want to REALLY get to know me I’ll tell the real story, the messy one, the one Jen knows, no holding back, and they will actually be interested. The glassy eyes will be because of heartfelt concern and empathy instead of boredom.
For now, I’m working my ass off, and going back to school.
I’m getting really comfortable with rolling as much as I like in my bed at night.
Being able to commandeer the remote is a privilege I enjoy immensely.
And taking leisurely morning rides unaccompanied on my new Harley are one of the keenest pleasures I have known.
I’d like to think that if Jodi Foster had the time to wait a bit longer on the lambs, instead of grabbing one and taking off running, she would have seen one slowly ease of the pen, look around wearily at first, but then lope off towards the mountains.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Alcoholic Musings of Brilliance
You never showed at the festival. Or at least the Universe didn't let us collide. Perhaps next year...
We've both mentioned how fun it would have been had we both been single at the same time, possibly able to live together or have the opportunity to go out together more. On Friday night on our way home, we settled into our easy conversation, grabbing Taco Bueno with the midnight snack cravings. We have this way with each other. Its very comforting to be able to express oneself openly about anything and have no worry about judgement. Once again we reminisced about the fun evening of drinking and music, and wished we could do it more often. She suddenly stopped and looked pensive for a moment. Then said something along the lines of , 'I think it worked out this way because we were exactly what the other person needed at the moment they needed it.' Which struck me in my post drunken, late night, munchy, chatty, starting-to-get-sleepy stupor (the exact moment when the brilliance shines through), that she hit the nail on the head. Had we both been in the middle of a divorce, who would have been the stronghold? We would have both been emotional wrecks, and just dragged each other down. It helped to go over late at night and cry on her shoulder, and see the life she was able to make for herself on the other side of a divorce: The wonderful loving husband, and the beautiful baby in the next room. It gives me hope. I hate to say it, but even though I'm older, she's kind of my mentor in a lot of ways. Even though no one can claim to be perfect or have it all figured out, she seems to have a pretty good idea. I'm fortunate to call her my best friend.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
It depends...
I think I've mentioned on a post by post basis how much of a dork I am.
At least I hope that my dorkiness is somewhat endearing.
A woman in my department turned 50 last week. We all decided to get her gag gifts. They of course pick me to buy the most ridiculous gift, the adult diapers, DEPENDS. I didn't care really, said sure. I go to the store that night also intending on buying my groceries. Now as a little back story I think its hilarious buying stuff like that, and sure I do get embarrassed when I have to purchase certain items occasionally, but at this point in my life I've pretty much owned up to my un-cool status. I love to be in the Pharmacy line, which happens to be directly next to the condom display and watch for the teenagers that do a quick pass over, then come back and snag a box of condoms as quickly as possible. It tickles me pink. But on this particular trip I saw three, I repeat (3) of my coworkers. By the end of my grocery trip I purposefully buried that bag so far at the bottom of my cart it was practically on the ground. I can only wonder what those people must think of me.
The story and my embarrassment doesn't end there.
The next day I get a little of a late start and rush inside the building juggling my purse, a folder of papers I'd worked on the night before, a to-go coffee mug full of hot coffee, and the now wrapped(I guess bagged is the correct term) gift. At 11:30 we all take the gifts and cake and surprise her with them. The joking and harassing is endless, it's almost too much. She has a walker, denture cream, hemorrhoid cream, etc. Everyone is ragging on how old she is. She gets to my gift, and everyone laughs it up, but she reaches in again, and pulls out MY CAR KEYS. Everyone is confused for a second and I try to think of some joke to play it off as planned. Nope. Got nothing. They must have fallen in when I was juggling my stuff that morning.
I awkwardly step forward to ask for my keys back, and the group goes wild with laughter. "Who really needs those depends?!" OMG. I think my face was as red as an apple, and I reverted mentally to a toddler, just pouting while I took a verbal smack down like you wouldn't believe. She even placed HER walker in front of me. I was one step away from stomping my foot in a tantrum. The meanies.
At least I got cake....
So how dorky am I, well, it DEPENDS...
-pun intended
\m/
At least I hope that my dorkiness is somewhat endearing.
A woman in my department turned 50 last week. We all decided to get her gag gifts. They of course pick me to buy the most ridiculous gift, the adult diapers, DEPENDS. I didn't care really, said sure. I go to the store that night also intending on buying my groceries. Now as a little back story I think its hilarious buying stuff like that, and sure I do get embarrassed when I have to purchase certain items occasionally, but at this point in my life I've pretty much owned up to my un-cool status. I love to be in the Pharmacy line, which happens to be directly next to the condom display and watch for the teenagers that do a quick pass over, then come back and snag a box of condoms as quickly as possible. It tickles me pink. But on this particular trip I saw three, I repeat (3) of my coworkers. By the end of my grocery trip I purposefully buried that bag so far at the bottom of my cart it was practically on the ground. I can only wonder what those people must think of me.
The story and my embarrassment doesn't end there.
The next day I get a little of a late start and rush inside the building juggling my purse, a folder of papers I'd worked on the night before, a to-go coffee mug full of hot coffee, and the now wrapped(I guess bagged is the correct term) gift. At 11:30 we all take the gifts and cake and surprise her with them. The joking and harassing is endless, it's almost too much. She has a walker, denture cream, hemorrhoid cream, etc. Everyone is ragging on how old she is. She gets to my gift, and everyone laughs it up, but she reaches in again, and pulls out MY CAR KEYS. Everyone is confused for a second and I try to think of some joke to play it off as planned. Nope. Got nothing. They must have fallen in when I was juggling my stuff that morning.
I awkwardly step forward to ask for my keys back, and the group goes wild with laughter. "Who really needs those depends?!" OMG. I think my face was as red as an apple, and I reverted mentally to a toddler, just pouting while I took a verbal smack down like you wouldn't believe. She even placed HER walker in front of me. I was one step away from stomping my foot in a tantrum. The meanies.
At least I got cake....
So how dorky am I, well, it DEPENDS...
-pun intended
\m/
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
The American Dream
You know what they say about music being therapy for all different types of moods. On my way to work I have the radio playing when Rise Against "Satellite" comes on. I've heard this song dozens of times, but for some reason never really listened to the lyrics. I turned it up really loud and the poetry really spoke to me (cheesy but true).
~
You can't feel the heat until you hold your hand over the flame
You have to cross the line just to remember where it lays
You won't know your worth now, son, until you take a hit
And you won't find the beat until you lose yourself in it
That's why we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
So catch me if I fall
That's why we stick to your game plans and party lives
But at night we're conspiring by candlelight
We are the orphans of the American dream
So shine your light on me
You can't fill your cup until you empty all it has
You can't understand what lays ahead
If you don't understand the past
You'll never learn to fly now
'Til you're standing at the cliff
And you can't truly love until you've given up on it
That's why we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
So catch me if I fall
That's why we stick to your game plans and party lives
But at night we're conspiring by candlelight
We are the orphans of the American dream
So shine your light on me
She told me that she never could face the world again
So I offered up a plan
We'll sneak out while they sleep
And sail off in the night.
We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives.
When we're gone we'll stay gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's not too late,
We have the rest of our lives.
We'll sneak out while they sleep
And sail off in the night
We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives
When we're gone we'll stay gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's not too late,
We have the rest of our lives.
The rest of our lives
Because we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
So catch me if I fall
That's why we stick to your game plans and party lives
But at night we're conspiring by candlelight
We are the orphans of the American dream
So shine your light on me (shine your light on me)
Because we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
'cause these are the things that we can't deny now
This is a life that you can't deny us now
~
I feel like I haven't really started living until recently. I've lived my life with this sheltered attitude, the real me only occasionally peeking out with a tattoo here or there or a tipsy Melody getting over being shy and having a blast. I'm finally on the right track. I'm enjoying my freedom, traveling a lot, in school to finish my degree.
One night last week I laid in bed for hours thinking about what exactly 'I' wanted to do with myself. I decided that when I finish school in a year or so from now, I'm going on the road "Easy Rider" style.
I'm going to reward myself after graduation with a few weeks of vacation on the open road. My ex sold my motorcycle, but I'll buy one. Pack a bag with a few essentials, a sleeping bag, and go. Jen is a little weary I might never come back if I go full biker. Mostly I just want to see the country. People are always talking about backpacking through Europe when I really haven't seen much of my own country. Just head out and turn left, when you can't go any further then turn right. I've made up my mind. No one can change it. I'm sure my parents will worry about the safety aspects of being a woman and alone, but I won't be swayed.
I'm already compiling a list of places I definitely want to see.
Perhaps I'll chronicle the trip here on this blog for all of you to enjoy.
\m/
~
You can't feel the heat until you hold your hand over the flame
You have to cross the line just to remember where it lays
You won't know your worth now, son, until you take a hit
And you won't find the beat until you lose yourself in it
That's why we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
So catch me if I fall
That's why we stick to your game plans and party lives
But at night we're conspiring by candlelight
We are the orphans of the American dream
So shine your light on me
You can't fill your cup until you empty all it has
You can't understand what lays ahead
If you don't understand the past
You'll never learn to fly now
'Til you're standing at the cliff
And you can't truly love until you've given up on it
That's why we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
So catch me if I fall
That's why we stick to your game plans and party lives
But at night we're conspiring by candlelight
We are the orphans of the American dream
So shine your light on me
She told me that she never could face the world again
So I offered up a plan
We'll sneak out while they sleep
And sail off in the night.
We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives.
When we're gone we'll stay gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's not too late,
We have the rest of our lives.
We'll sneak out while they sleep
And sail off in the night
We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives
When we're gone we'll stay gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's not too late,
We have the rest of our lives.
The rest of our lives
Because we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
So catch me if I fall
That's why we stick to your game plans and party lives
But at night we're conspiring by candlelight
We are the orphans of the American dream
So shine your light on me (shine your light on me)
Because we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
'cause these are the things that we can't deny now
This is a life that you can't deny us now
~
I feel like I haven't really started living until recently. I've lived my life with this sheltered attitude, the real me only occasionally peeking out with a tattoo here or there or a tipsy Melody getting over being shy and having a blast. I'm finally on the right track. I'm enjoying my freedom, traveling a lot, in school to finish my degree.
One night last week I laid in bed for hours thinking about what exactly 'I' wanted to do with myself. I decided that when I finish school in a year or so from now, I'm going on the road "Easy Rider" style.
I'm already compiling a list of places I definitely want to see.
Perhaps I'll chronicle the trip here on this blog for all of you to enjoy.
\m/
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Houston...There is no problem...
This weekend Grayson & I took a trip to Houston for the Free Press Summer Festival, this SOLDOUT music festival nestled in Downtown Houston's Eleanor Tinsley Park with 87 bands playing on 6 stages pretty much constantly over 2 days.
To say this was a concert is the understatement of the century. It was 10x the size of Rocklahoma from the weekend before.
We started the weekend off on Friday after work. I met Grayson at her loft and dropped off my car and we road tripped it down to Houston that night, arriving around 1a.m. to our hotel the Houston Marriott Downtown. We slept in until around 10, and got up and ate some lunch. Braving the Houston downtown traffic was a nightmare for two small town Oklahoma girls. We pretty much white knuckled our way a few miles down the road. We saw a cute little tattoo shop downtown and decided to go and have a look before we went to the festival, seeing as the first band we were really wanting to see wasn't until 5ish. We walked in and they told us they could tattoo us both for $20. We couldn't turn that down.
They mostly just wanted to flirt, and he wouldn't even take my tip. We promised next time we were in town we'd go by and see him. ;)
We valeted the car back at our hotel (everything is valet in fancy schmancy Houston) and walked the 8 blocks to the festival that day.
We moved across all 6 stages, and saw: Alabama Shakes, Arctic Monkeys, 2 Chainz, Passion Pit, and ended the night with Calvin Harris.
Day 2 started with me jumping on Grayson's bed to wake her up around 10. I was hoping to get in a little Houston culture other than the festival (ie The Space Center -cause I'm a science dork) but Gray was really dragging. I don't blame her, we'd already braved the whole afternoon in the 95° weather yesterday. Finally got her up and around and we checked out at noon. She wasn't really into the whole science geekery, but I managed to talk her into the aquarium, which was only a few blocks away. We had lunch at the restaurant there, and talked her into the shark tour.
Then walked back to the festival and saw some really great bands:
Mavis Staples, Cat Power (one of my faves), Of Monsters and Men, Macklemore, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (THE BEST), Social Distortion, and Bassnectar.
Have to say getting to see Cat Power was really awesome. Apparently she's had a rough year, usually cancels or doesn't show up to gigs. She looked cracked out on something, mumbling in between songs and almost crying at one point, but the way she sang was amazing. And I hate to say it, but I wouldn't be surprised if she passed soon, and I feel privileged to have seen her. Grace Potter and the Nocturnals were the best of the whole weekend. She was energetic and amazing. They covered Black Sabbath's War Pigs, and the crowd was so into it, the energy was a literal buzzing. We drove back that night after Bassnectar's rave, and made it back to Pryor at 5 a.m. on Monday morning, jamming out in the car the whole way to keep each other awake. Poor Grayson had to work, but I took the day off, and spent it napping by the apt pool, reading, and had a late lunch with JEN.
Who's going with me next year?
We started the weekend off on Friday after work. I met Grayson at her loft and dropped off my car and we road tripped it down to Houston that night, arriving around 1a.m. to our hotel the Houston Marriott Downtown. We slept in until around 10, and got up and ate some lunch. Braving the Houston downtown traffic was a nightmare for two small town Oklahoma girls. We pretty much white knuckled our way a few miles down the road. We saw a cute little tattoo shop downtown and decided to go and have a look before we went to the festival, seeing as the first band we were really wanting to see wasn't until 5ish. We walked in and they told us they could tattoo us both for $20. We couldn't turn that down.
We valeted the car back at our hotel (everything is valet in fancy schmancy Houston) and walked the 8 blocks to the festival that day.
We moved across all 6 stages, and saw: Alabama Shakes, Arctic Monkeys, 2 Chainz, Passion Pit, and ended the night with Calvin Harris.
Day 2 started with me jumping on Grayson's bed to wake her up around 10. I was hoping to get in a little Houston culture other than the festival (ie The Space Center -cause I'm a science dork) but Gray was really dragging. I don't blame her, we'd already braved the whole afternoon in the 95° weather yesterday. Finally got her up and around and we checked out at noon. She wasn't really into the whole science geekery, but I managed to talk her into the aquarium, which was only a few blocks away. We had lunch at the restaurant there, and talked her into the shark tour.
Mavis Staples, Cat Power (one of my faves), Of Monsters and Men, Macklemore, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (THE BEST), Social Distortion, and Bassnectar.
Have to say getting to see Cat Power was really awesome. Apparently she's had a rough year, usually cancels or doesn't show up to gigs. She looked cracked out on something, mumbling in between songs and almost crying at one point, but the way she sang was amazing. And I hate to say it, but I wouldn't be surprised if she passed soon, and I feel privileged to have seen her. Grace Potter and the Nocturnals were the best of the whole weekend. She was energetic and amazing. They covered Black Sabbath's War Pigs, and the crowd was so into it, the energy was a literal buzzing. We drove back that night after Bassnectar's rave, and made it back to Pryor at 5 a.m. on Monday morning, jamming out in the car the whole way to keep each other awake. Poor Grayson had to work, but I took the day off, and spent it napping by the apt pool, reading, and had a late lunch with JEN.
Who's going with me next year?
Thursday, May 30, 2013
***Caution***
I really shouldn't be allowed to leave the house without wearing a neon hunting vest over bubble wrap, knee & elbow pads, hockey gear, and a helmet.
And I wonder where I get all these bruises all the time, but really I'm a walking disaster zone.
My poor body has been through so much abuse these past few days.
So I've already mentioned my fall at Rocklahoma that resulted in a gigantic bruise covering one whole ass cheek. I've had to lean to the left in my office chair all week trying not to put too much of my weight on it.
Well today was worse.
I started off the day walking down my wet apartment stairs to get to my car. I almost dropped my purse in a puddle and scrambled to catch it and almost fell down a whole flight of stairs...narrowly catching myself and my purse. *Whew, crisis for the day averted*
Nope.
I get to work and munch on my apple. In the middle of one bite I chomp down on my tongue like there is no tomorrow. I guess it wasn't fast enough to dodge my bully teeth. That'll teach it!
Today was a co worker's birthday, so I drove a few of us to lunch. When we get in the parking lot, the rain just lightens up so we jump out and make a run for it, right as the wind picks up, blows my wall of hair right in my face, I'm blind at this point...and I run smack -elbow first- into my car mirror and ping off like a freaking pinball. *INSERT EXPLETIVE*
I walk/run it off to get inside the BBQ place and everyone laughs at my clumsiness. They don't even know the half of it.
Not an hour after we get back from lunch and I'm filing some papers in the PO filing cabinet and scratch my brow. *BAM* nail the other elbow on the way down. At this point I'm looking around wearily at everything within reach like they are rattlesnakes about to bite, walking gingerly and peeking around corners. What seemingly innate and safe but actually extremely dangerous object will attack me next!?!
My poor body has been through so much abuse these past few days.
So I've already mentioned my fall at Rocklahoma that resulted in a gigantic bruise covering one whole ass cheek. I've had to lean to the left in my office chair all week trying not to put too much of my weight on it.
Well today was worse.
I started off the day walking down my wet apartment stairs to get to my car. I almost dropped my purse in a puddle and scrambled to catch it and almost fell down a whole flight of stairs...narrowly catching myself and my purse. *Whew, crisis for the day averted*
Nope.
I get to work and munch on my apple. In the middle of one bite I chomp down on my tongue like there is no tomorrow. I guess it wasn't fast enough to dodge my bully teeth. That'll teach it!
Today was a co worker's birthday, so I drove a few of us to lunch. When we get in the parking lot, the rain just lightens up so we jump out and make a run for it, right as the wind picks up, blows my wall of hair right in my face, I'm blind at this point...and I run smack -elbow first- into my car mirror and ping off like a freaking pinball. *INSERT EXPLETIVE*
I walk/run it off to get inside the BBQ place and everyone laughs at my clumsiness. They don't even know the half of it.
Not an hour after we get back from lunch and I'm filing some papers in the PO filing cabinet and scratch my brow. *BAM* nail the other elbow on the way down. At this point I'm looking around wearily at everything within reach like they are rattlesnakes about to bite, walking gingerly and peeking around corners. What seemingly innate and safe but actually extremely dangerous object will attack me next!?!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Rocklahoma 2013
What a weekend.
Pretty much went straight from work to the Rocklahoma grounds on Friday, and didn't leave much but to sleep a few hours and go back out to Rock some more. Sorry mom, if you are reading, I promise I was responsible and didn't drive intoxicated.
Day 1 Started out with Papa Roach, a Pabst and a Jack n coke later and we took this pic. Bush came on shortly after, and another Jack n coke and half of Grayson's later, and I'm lit up. Guns n Roses came after two more beers, but they were about an hour late, so when it was 12:30-1:00 a.m. rolled around and they'd only played 1 of their hits, we called it quits for day 1.
Day 2 started with a few Keystone's. (These were free, so I can't complain.) After having spent entirely too much money on Friday, we brought a cooler with us, and chilled and drank in the parking lots/empty fields and only went in to watch the bands we liked. Halestorm was awesome, so was Bullet for my Valentine. It was freaking hot that day, so the drinking of beer got a little excessive to keep cool. - There was also a little honey whiskey in there... Mixing was a bad idea. I ended up flat on my behind while jumping up and down to Alice in Chains. There may have been a kiss with one of Grayson's relations, but I feel too weird about going into depth about uncles, and older men. We ended the night with a bonfire at Gray's dad's house.
Day 3 I woke up with a Black and Blue behind. I would post a pic of it, but I'm trying to censor myself a little. ;) We look a little worse for wear at this point. I pretty much just rolled out of bed, tied a headband on my head, and met up with Gray. We talked a lot today over the sounds of Cheap Trick. I couldn't really help but give Gray the 3rd degree about her love life, and she took it like a champ. I just don't want her to have regrets like I do. We made some friends that day, and were challenged to weird dance-offs and wardrobe swaps. Korn finished up the festival and we went home and crashed.
Round two is this weekend in Houston at the FPSF. More pics and play by plays to come!
Pretty much went straight from work to the Rocklahoma grounds on Friday, and didn't leave much but to sleep a few hours and go back out to Rock some more. Sorry mom, if you are reading, I promise I was responsible and didn't drive intoxicated.
Round two is this weekend in Houston at the FPSF. More pics and play by plays to come!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Vikings
Sorry about not posting for a while.
Had a little incident with my ex.
Seems that his mother was checking up on me on facebook and found a link to my website.
I think this is funny, because even though I've had this for years now, I don't think my ex ever made the effort to read it. Anyway, she was offended by my post with the country song.
Even though there was nothing malicious in it, and was supposed to be silly, I guess it was misconstrued and he asked me to delete it or take the link from my facebook down.
I took the link down.
Because I'm nice, and I still care about her feelings.
Also my mother and sister discovered this too, so now I feel like I need to edit my language and content.
Hopefully everything is all cooled down now.
She stayed with me for a few days and we watched a ton of episodes of VIKINGS, this new show on the History Channel.
We talked about how I wished I would have gone on the European vacation with her, but Joe wouldn't let me, and she brought up this Viking tour vacation. Its a cruise down the Rhine River, starting in Amsterdam.
I laughed a little at the thought of going to Amsterdam with my mother. But the more I thought about it, the better and better it sounded. I have no obligations right now to anyone other than myself. I am back in school, but we should be done by early December. What better way to celebrate my first Christmas alone, than with my mother on a cruise? I'm not sure if this is the exact cruise she had in mind, but this is the general itinerary.
I think I'm going to save up some money to do this. I have never been out of the country and I would like to before settling down again, if that is even in the cards for me. I've already gotten to experience so much in the few months I've been divorced. Been to some of the best concerts, had the most fun with my friends I've ever had.
I've got Rocklahoma coming up in two weeks, then the FPSMFestival in Houston the weekend after that. No time for dwelling on a wasted past, only looking forward to the future.
Had a little incident with my ex.
Seems that his mother was checking up on me on facebook and found a link to my website.
I think this is funny, because even though I've had this for years now, I don't think my ex ever made the effort to read it. Anyway, she was offended by my post with the country song.
Even though there was nothing malicious in it, and was supposed to be silly, I guess it was misconstrued and he asked me to delete it or take the link from my facebook down.
I took the link down.
Because I'm nice, and I still care about her feelings.
Also my mother and sister discovered this too, so now I feel like I need to edit my language and content.
Hopefully everything is all cooled down now.
My mother was in town recently helping out with my nephew, who is still as adorable as ever:
I laughed a little at the thought of going to Amsterdam with my mother. But the more I thought about it, the better and better it sounded. I have no obligations right now to anyone other than myself. I am back in school, but we should be done by early December. What better way to celebrate my first Christmas alone, than with my mother on a cruise? I'm not sure if this is the exact cruise she had in mind, but this is the general itinerary.
I've got Rocklahoma coming up in two weeks, then the FPSMFestival in Houston the weekend after that. No time for dwelling on a wasted past, only looking forward to the future.
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