Company Theft

Someone stole my lunch from the company break room refrigerator today. Its odd how personal we take things sometimes. Especially since it was clearly marked with my name. I was busy working away while someone was snacking on delicious leftovers from JLs and knowing it belonged to someone else, and that they may not eat lunch today because of it.

Actually, it wasn't the fact that my lunch was stolen that really kind of put a damper on my day. It brought back an old memory of one of the first times I realized my marriage was doomed.

One of my love languages is acts of service. I think I express this a lot in food/cooking actually.
I love food, it means a lot to me actually, but I'm really not picky, so I'm one of those girls that annoyingly says "I don't care" when asked where I want to eat out.
But what the guy doesn't realize is that this isn't us being a 'ridiculous woman that can't make up our minds'.
Its really us expressing that we love you and want you to be happy with where we go much more than we care about what we're craving. We are putting your needs above ours again. When I cook I also tend to give the choicest cut of meat or the biggest portion of food to my loved one.
Hell, I even do this with Jen just cause I love her so much.

It was my act of service.
Even though I really wanted that steak that was cooked on the perfect part of the grill, I will take the charred remains from the center just so you don't have suffer or leave the table the slightest bit still hungry.

When I'm at the grocery store, I only think about what my significant other likes to eat and usually only stock their favorites at my place.
Its just how I am. My act of service is being selfless in the eating department.

The lunchroom theft today just brought back an old memory I thought I was long since over.

One day I was super stressed at work, I was overwhelmed and upset over a mistake I made, and I didn't even have a chance to eat breakfast, so when lunch came around I was super hungry. But in order to get my head above water I decided to work through lunch. I told my ex husband (husband at the time) that I couldn't go out with them today, and as he was leaving for lunch to please pickup something for me at the place him and the other engineers were eating when they were done. He gave me a nod and left.

1:00 rolls around and I feel a little light-headed from not eating, so I wonder if he's made it back yet from lunch. (Engineers are notoriously long lunch breakers). Sure enough he was sitting in his office, sipping on the remainder of a soft drink from his meal and typing away on his computer. The sight of me in his doorway didn't even jog his memory on his neglect. (Isn't there some sort of innate need to provide for their mate in a man's DNA?)I gave him a half-smile and walked away, determined not to let it get to me, that it was just a small oversight.
But as the hours passed and I munched on a few pieces of gum in an effort to dampen the pit in my stomach I thought was food related...I realized that not once had I crossed his mind while he was out at lunch, in order to have completely forgotten.

He didn't know I was stressed, he didn't care I was hungry, and he didn't think me important enough to remember.

This wasn't just one meal. This was a good example of our marriage.

And now, when I think about the man standing in front of the grill helping me cook my current meals. Making sure all pieces are equally cooked, helping me clean the plates afterwards, load the dishwasher, and giving me impeccable sex later that night, I wonder at how I got so lucky with this man, this time around. I don't have to sacrifice as much with my acts of service, because he serves me equally. He loves me equally.

So, next time you're girl says "I don't care," when you're trying to pick a place for dinner. Don't get angry at her. Kiss the hand you are holding, and say "I love you".
Because in essence, this is what she just said to you.