Wednesday, December 21, 2011

New Diet?



The most weight I've ever lost was during the few months away from school when I worked at chilis and sometimes a double shift didn't allow me to eat meals. It was a fasting type way of losing weight. Some people don't think that is healthy, but this book, and nutritional guru, seems to think its healthy. Not to mention, its the only time I've ever achieved significant results.

You basically fast twice a week for 24 hours. Make sure to drink plenty of water to counteract the effects of dehydration. But otherwise I've felt really good on this. Don't gorge yourself when the fast is over. Try to eat normal if not a little better than normal, and exercise as usual. This is the first week I've tried it, but I already feel pretty good. Its like I give my body a chance to catch up and cleanse itself.

We'll see how it goes. Jen's on board too.

\m/

Friday, December 9, 2011

brrrr



Actually, I think its here. Lets just hope this doesn't mean we're in for a rough one.

\m/

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Wedded Bliss

It was beautiful Jen.
I'm no photographer, and this is only my IPHONE, but here's a peak.






I especially like the one at the rehearsal. John's grin is so huge, its cute.
He snagged a keeper.

\m/

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Growing Older

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.” -Abraham Lincoln

Having another birthday this week. Seems like I just had one. The years seems to be flying by now, and I'm more and more concerned about if what I'm doing/how I'm living is really meaningful.

I remember turning 7. The first year that I was depressed about the passage of time instead of thinking about the presents and upcoming Holidays. Can't really remember much before 7, but then again at around age 11. I learned some about the birds and the bees and it scared the shit out of me. I didn't want to have to deal with grown-up issues. I didn't want to have to think about my body doing weird things and separating me evermore from the boys I loved to be around.

Now I have to start thinking about aging, and changing around priorities as a result.
Jen and I had a spa day on Saturday. It was a sort of tame Bachelorette celebration. We got facials and massages. I was in the room with the lady doing my facial and she started asking what my routine was. What products I used. Of course, my response was along the lines of water and soap in the shower. She was appalled and started in on all the things I should be doing at my age to ensure my skin held up well with age. It was overwhelming. I didn't really go to the spa to be scolded. But I guess I do need to start preparing for the future. Be it my skin, a family, financially, etc.

I wish I could live in Neverneverland with the lost boys and never grow up.

\m/

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

For Jen

Good luck on the Nuptials next week Jen. This is for you ;)

Spring is here
The sky is blue
(whoa-whoa-whoa)
Birds all sing
As if they knew
Today's the day
We'll say I do
And we'll never be lonely anymore
Because we're

Goin' to the chapel and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel and we're
Gonna get married
Gee, I really love you and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel of love

Bells will ring
The sun will shine
(whoa-whoa-whoa)
I'll be his and
He'll be mine
We'll love until
The end of time
And we'll never be lonely anymore
Because we're

Goin' to the chapel and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel and we're
Gonna get married
Gee, I really love you and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel of love

By the way, Candice and I coordinated and are wearing this to the wedding:




\m/

Friday, November 11, 2011

Putting Audrey to Bed

Before I put the Audrey Hepburn 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' Halloween inspired background to rest, I thought I would share a poem she shared with her family during her last Christmas just weeks before she died.
It seemed fitting.

BEAUTY SECRETS

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you never walk alone.
We leave you a tradition of the future. The tender loving care of human beings will never become obsolete.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, redeemed and redeemed and redeemed. Never throw anyone away.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you'll discover that you have two hands: One for helping yourself, the second for helping others.
You have great days still ahead of you.
May there be many of them.
-Anonymous


What a woman.

\m/

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Change

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Reinhold Niebuhr

So much change lately.
I got a promotion, this is a good thing. I'm a Purchasing Agent/Buyer. As of monday I've worked 7-7 everyday, not off to such a good start on that front. I think I have a tendency to jump in head first, and then get overwhelmed quickly. Hopefully things will slow some once I settle into that position.

We sold our house. We have to be out by mid-November, and we don't have a place to go as of yet. This whole situation feels out of my control. I liked my house, I liked the location, and I feel like a lot of the decisions revolving around this haven't been made with my opinion in mind. I'm trying to think positive, that this opens up a lot of great posibilities, but things just seem scary right now.

I guess I'm just not so good with change. I grew up in the same house my whole childhood, never moved. I was in my last job position for about 4 years. Now everything happens all at once, and I'm just trying to cope.

\m/

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

October

Gotta love October TV.
Scary movies all month.
And this new TV series starts tonight.


Better Watch.
They'll be watching you.....

Muahahahaha.


\m/

Thursday, September 22, 2011

More work conversational gems....

From: J D
Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 6:22 AM
To: S L ; Jennifer Stutzman; Melody Schmidt
Subject:


From: Jennifer Stutzman
Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 7:30 AM
To: J D; S L ; Melody Schmidt
Subject: RE:

All thought provoking questions..

From: Melody Schmidt
Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 7:31 AM
To: Jennifer Stutzman; J D ; S L
Subject: RE:

You only have a wedgie for eternity if you are going to hell. Imagine the torture…

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Need Sleep

I feel like Jack on the Shining.


No sleep is seriously messing with my mental health.


All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl. All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl. All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl. All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl. All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl. All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl. All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl. All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl. All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.

All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.
All work and no sleep make Melody a dull girl.



Pretty creepy eh?

FYI




\m/

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Have I lost my touch?



I pride myself in being a decent cook. Not gourmet or anything, just decent home cooking. I'm pretty good at taking raw ingredients and making up dinner with them, and I'm decent with baking too. Although, I think I might be losing my touch...

For Joe's birthday we had people over on Friday. We grilled out, and usually I'm really good at grilling, my burgers juicy and whatnot, but must have been the sheer quantity of burgers I had going, or the dozen other tasks I was tending to at the time, but most of them were too well done. The poor hotdogs were charred to a crisp. Joe also has this dessert request. A 'cherry dessert' his grandmother always makes at family events. I get the recipe and give it a whirl the night before. A graham cracker crust, cheesecake-like center, nuts, and homemade whipped cream topping with cherry pie filling to top everything off. My crust was too crumbly, and altogether it just wasn't the same as his grandmothers. Disappointing.

Last night I made Fideo (mexican spaghetti). The last time I made it Joe had seconds and thirds. He doesn't usually eat this well, cause I try to make healthy dinners when I cook. Salads and grilled chicken and stuff. He eats what I put in front of him, but complains he's hungry an hour or two later and end up eating some Ramen noodles or something before bed. Last night the Fideo didn't go over as well.

I'm starting to get worried my cooking talent has left me.
Screw you Cherry Dessert.
I will conquer you.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I got it bad...

...poor English and all.

You know those days where no matter how many people come into your office to chat or say hello, and although you are surrounded by people most of the day you just feel really lonely?

I've had that the past few days.

Joe's been kinda distant, his birthday was Monday, and once you hit a certain age you stop getting excited when your birthday rolls around. He's depressed, hasn't talked much. Jen's been training a guy on sheet metal for the past few days, and hasn't been at her desk. She's had to work through lunches and late every night to actually do the sheet metal work, since not much gets accomplished during training. We usually email back and forth almost like instant messaging. It makes the work day more pleasant, but she can't this week. So I just sit here and work. I've been listening to a book on tape while I type. But it almost makes things even more lonely. Like you are a bystander in someone else's life.

I miss Jen, she keeps me sane.
Keeps me truckin, cause being an adult and working 8 hours a day really gets monotonous.
Monotony is the number one killer of people my age. (I just made that up)

I've got it bad.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Job

A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do. - My man Bobby Dylan

I don't want to be at work.
Jen and I could probably go on and on complaining about work.
But I'll summarize.

The Definition of irony:
The fact that I work for an HVAC company and our A/C isn't working.
Its going to be 115° today. Not funny.

The Definition of insanity:
Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.
When someone puts in notice here they do not quickly rehire and train someone new, they wait until the day the person is leaving and throws their duties on someone else, making everyone's life more difficult.

You know its a bad day when your occasional bad day afternoon treat is consumed by 9:15.


\m/

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

UFOs

Unidentified flying objects in Rogers/Mayes County!



So I'm headed home from Owasso, and all of a sudden, "Bam!"
I hear this loud cracking noise.
Its scares me. I quickly look around at my surroundings and am stumped.
The car seems to be acting fine.
Then I notice this new crack in the windshield.
WHAT?!
There is literally nothing around me.
As you can see there are no houses, and the nearest cars are at least 50 yards away.
There is nothing.
How could a rock just come out of nowhere?
A freak piece of hail maybe?

I am pissed.
I guess that is what you get having a car with a windshield that is nearly straight up and down.

Damn UFOs.

\m/

Friday, July 1, 2011

KHAL DROGO



Khal Drogo (Game of Thrones)
-A dirty limerick for you.
He’s on the list of fictional characters I would be allowed to sleep with if he were alive/available. I think I was pretty clever with the GOT throwbacks. The nerds are the only ones that will get them… Ahem…Jen.

Oh Khal,
you are my all.
I’ll be the moon of your life.
I would make you an excellent wife.
I can ride a horse,
Or you of course.
I don’t need the throne,
Just throw me a bone.
Please just give me a chance,
To get into those leather pants.
Oh Khal.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Someone Like You- lyrics by Adele

I heard, that you settled down.
That you, found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things, I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over.

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.

You'd know, how the time flies.
Only yesterday, was the time of our lives.
We were born and raised in a summer haze.
Bound by the surprise of our glory days.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over.

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead", yea.

Nothing compares, no worries or cares.
Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

WTF



Why the hell do they put 'rename' right next to 'delete'?!
'Delete' should have its own little box area.

And why the hell do I automatically hit enter without thinking, when it warns me I'm about to delete?!

GRRR!

Don't they realize I need like 4 safeguards?

Friday, June 17, 2011

More work conversational gems

See? Work can be fun...

From: Melody Schmidt
Sent: Friday, June 17, 2011 7:59 AM
To: (Bleeped Out)
Subject: You don't have the grey file for 102465?
?

From: (Bleeped Out)
Sent: Friday, June 17, 2011 8:21 AM
To: Melody Schmidt
Subject: RE: You don't have the grey file for 102465?

Nope, I don’t think I’ve had that one since March.
Did you see if (Bleeped out) was holding it hostage? Or is he the one looking for it?

From: Melody Schmidt
Sent: Friday, June 17, 2011 8:30 AM
To: (Bleeped Out)
Subject: RE: You don't have the grey file for 102465?

Yeah, he was.

From: (Bleeped Out)
Sent: Friday, June 17, 2011 8:35 AM
To: Melody Schmidt
Subject: RE: You don't have the grey file for 102465?

He was…holding it hostage or looking for it? lol

From: Melody Schmidt
Sent: Friday, June 17, 2011 8:35 AM
To: (Bleeped Out)
Subject: RE: You don't have the grey file for 102465?

Hostage situation.
Had to talk him down.

From: (Bleeped Out)
Sent: Friday, June 17, 2011 8:43 AM
To: Melody Schmidt
Subject: RE: You don't have the grey file for 102465?

I’m glad you were there to diffuse the situation.
How did you do it?
Go in all cute and sweet-like and then double leg take down when the time was perfect?

From: Melody Schmidt
Sent: Friday, June 17, 2011 8:49 AM
To: (Bleeped Out)
Subject: RE: You don't have the grey file for 102465?

Yeah, he had the file in the corner at gun point.
I distracted him with my wiles and disarmed him.
We’re taking him away in cuffs now.
He’s lost it.
Will probably claim insanity.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Strong Women

*Side note* Thanks Jen, feel the same way.
There are very few people who can go through something devastating and come out on top. Not carry baggage, but learn from the situation, and come out wiser and happier. Its tough to be a strong independent woman these days. I think that we still struggle with our identities in society. We want to work and be self-sufficient, but we also have this soft motherly side also. Just don't get in the way of our protective instincts. Some women just have this innate ability to grow with every tough circumstance, its really amazing to watch.

There is this new HBO Series 'Game of Thrones'.


Its really well written.
Its a fantasy series, but they really downplay the fantasy aspects (Dragons, Huge wolves, nightwalkers, etc.)
There is this character Daenerys Targaryen that has really inspired me.
In the first few episodes she was childish and very very naive.


But her brother married her to this barbarian early in the show to gain the control of his army to take back the throne that rightfully belongs to the Targaryen family. The barbarian is very rough and shes thrown into this whole situation to being married to a man she's met once, becoming his queen, and he speaks another language and his customs are brutish, but she adapts. She learns his language and learns how to treat him how a wife should. They fall for each other, and she gets pregnant. Suddenly she has all the power, the barbarian will do anything for her, and she starts acting like a wise and noble queen should. Its amazing.

There is this one scene where his customs and beliefs say that if she can eat a whole animal heart, that her child will be a boy, his heir and be strong and a future leader. She chokes it down like a trooper, and his whole tribe starts to love and look up to her.


I look forward to every episode on Sundays. Its a really engrossing story.
Check it out.
\m/

Friday, June 3, 2011

The Sun Will Shine Again

I came across a poem yesterday that really stuck out to me. It explains some of the thinking I've had over the past year and a half.

Let Go of The Past

Let go....
of guilt; it's okay to make
the same mistakes again.
Let go....
of obsessions; they seldom
turn out the way you planned.
Let go....
of hate; it's a waste of love.
Let go....
of blaming others; you are
responsible for your own destiny.
Let go....
of fantasies; so reality can
come true.
Let go....
of self-pity; someone else
may need you.
Let go....
of wanting; cherish what you have.
Let go....
of fear; it's a waste of faith.
Let go....
of despair; change comes from
acceptance and forgiveness.
Let go....
of the past; the future is
here ~ right now.

I've learned so many hard lessons over the past few years. I'm one of those people that always has to learn the hard way. I feel confident, however, that the mistakes I made yesterday do not define me today, and it was so hard to get to that point. Internalizing guilt and feelings and dwelling on past situations do nothing for your spirit and definitely don't help you develop as a better person.

All this to say it has hugely helped me to have a sounding board, a confidant, and someone who gives me tough advice and tough love when I need it most. Thanks Mel, you're a true BFFF.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Publish Me! Please!

See Chapter 1 below chapter 2.

Chapter 2
Crowley and I were on our way to a crime-scene when I worked up the nerve to ask him something that had been on my mind all morning and most of the afternoon.
“What do you know about the Vampire King?” He swerved a little, the car beeping annoyingly to get his attention. He recovered and gave me a smile.
“You sure aren’t like typical women, no small talk for you?”
“Why aren’t we using the Autopilot? No one drives manually these days,” I commented, feeling a little dizzy from the swerving. Imagine it, a half-vampire supe-cop getting car sick. Pathetic.
“Why are you asking about these things? You know it’s dangerous to even talk about him, they say he hears everything.” The big were-bear actually seemed to stifle a shiver.
“Crowley, those are just stories you tell children to contain their curiosity over the Vampires, I need some actual info. I got a request in writing for me to meet him tonight.” He nearly swerved again, but the smile never left his face.
“Alexa,” he never used my first name, so I knew I was in for a lecture. The bear was living up to his protective tendency. “I don’t know if you should get mixed up in their whole society. I mean I don’t want to sound hypocritical, but that is a rough crowd.” I sat there and listened, biting my tongue the whole time. He sensed my weariness over the lecture and answered, “I don’t know much. Hell it seems like you know more about were-creatures and the supernatural community than the lot of us do. But I do know that he is revered. But reverence like that must have come with a high cost. I would watch my mouth, and just be polite. You are smart enough not to ask for any favors, and that’s about the worst of it.”
Vampires were famous for the price their favors cost the recipients. I heard of a woman – one of those friend of a friend stories, you know the ones – that had asked for the help of the Vampires to find a missing child, in exchange she was supposedly made to be a blood slave. That was a life-long sentence. I contemplated this as we pulled up to the address of the call, an apartment complex. The car announced our arrival to the destination and went through the standard briefing. This area was classified area 3. The air a little thinner and certain toxins more prevalent. These things didn’t affect me, but Crowley clipped on a breathing apparatus onto his collar of the flak jacket. He took three puffs, the standard for area 3, then we got out of the car.
Carmine was already on the scene. It was a mystery as to how he always arrived on the scene first. He was talking rather heatedly with an officer on the outer edge of the crime scene tape. Crowley and I decided to see what was up and headed over. The sun was setting by this time, but the bulk of it was masked by the smog, and the wind blew with a vengeance. It would be getting cold soon. Everything looked dead and in shades of brown, as though the world was an old photograph that had faded to sepia. I flashed on an old memory of my mother’s garden, the colors were so vibrant; flowers were rare now. It looked as though the world had lost its will to live.
“Officer,” I interrupted, “I’m Senior Detective Mason, this is detective Crowley, and detective Jacobson, what seem to be the problem here?” He seemed flustered but stood his ground.
“I was told not to allow anyone through to the crime scene, and Ma’am where is your breather?” He said stubbornly, he couldn’t see my eyes and thought I was human.
“We’re not just anyone, we’re the Supe Squad. We were called onto this scene because it was suspected to be of supernatural origin. Who is your supervising officer?” I said standing my ground. He looked down at me like I was amusing, tiny little thing trying to be tough. I felt my pulse rise and imagined myself tearing out his throat, the flesh ripping away in a fresh spurt of warm delicious blood. The thought was so violently abrupt and tempting it brought a gasp from me and I swayed from another dizzy spell. Carmine touched my shoulder gently, I was shaking, turning away from him suddenly, shrugging off the hand. Crowley looked worried, but I gave him a smile. The image had been so vivid. I could almost taste the blood, the warmth of it comforting. What was happening to me?
“Yes ma’am, well why don’t you go back to your car, grab your breather and we’ll get this sorted out.” ‘We’ll’ get this sorted out, he said, meaning the men. That really pissed me off. I turned around and heard a growling sound, before I realized it was coming from me. I clutched my throat and the poor kid turned pale from the sound. Carmine was looking at me intently, and everything was at a stand-still, until the kid officer’s radio went off.
~Static~ “Whats going on out there Bradley? Over.” ~Static~
He clutched the radio and replied back with a break in his voice from fear. “There are some detectives down here from the Super, ahem, Supe Squad. Over”
~Static~”Well send them up Bradley, we don’t have all night. Over~Static~ He didn’t look too happy about the request, but raised the crime tape for us to walk under.
“Damn, Mason, what the hell is wrong with you today?” Crowley said as we walked up to the entrance. I was about to cuss him out when I walked under the overhang from the building, but was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of menace, blackness seemed to claim my vision in another dizzy spell. There was power here trying to keep us out, so much so, that everything started to spin and I lost all consciousness.

I woke up with Carmine smiling a condescending smile. I was still laying on the dusty ground, but he must have caught me because I was cradled in his lap. I pushed away violently, but the headache made me stay in the sitting position. I reached up and found that my nose was bleeding a little, I tilted my head back.
“You okay?” Carmine said huskily. Not looking directly at my face. Blood was always tempting to Vampires. Even if the old ones could control the blood-lust more than a newbie, they tried to refrain from testing the waters.
“Did you feel that?” I said wearily looking over at Carmine. He kept silent, just rose to examine the threshold of the walkway.
“I did, what is that?” My partner said overhearing and leaning down to hear my answer.
“Some sort of barrier…” I said unsure. Looking at the walls and ceiling for a sign. “Wait, someone find me a blacklight, I think I have an idea.” Crowley ran off inside to search for one as Carmine helped me to my feet. He still wouldn’t look at me. “How long was I out?”
“A minute or two,” He said quietly. The natural light was fading fast and the street lights came on one by one as we waited. I brushed my fingers across the wall in the corner and felt a smaller version of the dizziness earlier. I leaned against the wall trying to right myself again. Crowley dashed back to us holding a black light, and a few officers followed him curiously. I grabbed the light and flicked it on, putting it close to where I had touched. The light illuminated a bright intricate design of some sort. Everyone was silent as I searched the rest of the area, shining the light on the ceiling was the biggest design, right where I had collapsed. Everyone turned to look at me with interest.
“Better call Markus, he’ll know what these designs are.” I said handing Crowley back the black light. He took out his phone, and dialed the wizard’s cell.
“And this has bearing on the crime how?” One of the bystanding officers asked with genuine interest. I didn’t take offense.
“Carmine, how many bodies do you smell?” He looked surprised at my questioning.
“6 new, near to us, perhaps the second floor. 2 old bodies further, guessing the basement.” He said his head tilted up, breathing in deep. The second part of the statement seemed to be a surprise to the officers, because the one questioning me ordered two to go check the basement area for more victims. I knew the minute his sense of smell lost focus and accidentally caught the lingering blood from my nose because that violet gaze suddenly locked on me. The intensity of it made my stomach clench, and not just from fear, but from excitement. I quickly regained my composure.
“You see, officer, we know what we are doing, call it a gut feeling, the meaning behind this massacre is in these symbols.”
“I see. Detective Mason, I’m Sergeant Mathus. Would you care to walk me through the crime scene upstairs, I’m afraid we must have missed something then, the bodies are in peculiar positions.”
“Lead the way Sergeant, Detective Jacobson, you stay here, question any witnesses.” The relief on Carmine’s face was apparent. I guessed that he hadn’t fed yet today by his reaction to my bloody nose, and his relief asserted my feelings. Blood of any type, be it a paper cut, or a lost limb is hell on a Vampire’s control.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Publish Me!

Chapter 1
I had squashed the spider against the tile in the women’s locker room before I even thought about it. Growing up, this was the natural thing to do. Oh, how things had changed. The poor guy was very nearly endangered, and even though no normal person would have thought twice about it, even in these times; I’m not normal, and I found myself encouraging the thing to live. Thankfully I had just swatted him lightly, and he seemed to be struggling against the odds to climb up the shower towards the ceiling, one leg hanging useless now after my thoughtless act of violence. We endangered species needed to stick together.
I was so enthralled with the tortuous journey of the spider, the shower timer buzzed and then shut off. Damnit, I mentally shouted. I reached down and picked up my ID card off the chain around my neck and scanned it against the shower head again, but it just buzzed annoyingly. It was that time of year again for the water rationing. Thankfully the soap had washed out of my hair on its own, because I had wasted precious moments in the water just to see the spider home safely. In water rationing times people even stood in buckets, just in case, and then used the leftover water to pour over themselves as a final rinse. The steam started to dissipate and I shivered, so I got my body moving towards the lockers.
It was a slow process, it seemed like in the early morning hours my body rebelled against any use. I attributed it to my second nature, the nature I refused to acknowledge most days, even though it was now staring obviously back at me out of the mirror over the sinks. The violet eyes were a nuisance, especially in today’s society. I avoided having to look back in the mirror, and rushed through the rest of my routine as quickly as possible. It was early, but people would be coming in soon, and I didn’t like being around people much. After pulling on my black shirt and jeans, my hair was starting to dry and hung in dark waves, my one vanity. Women these days preferred to keep it short, for the obvious reasons. Not only water was rationed, so were other non-essentials, like hair products and makeup. I didn’t really need any product for my hair though, it naturally waved becomingly, and I just couldn’t bear to cut it. My father, the little amount of memories I had retained of him, he seemed to have been fond of it.
I pulled out my keycard from under the shirt, it had to be visible at all times, or you could be reprimanded, and I shrugged into my shoulder holster. I carried a .9mm. Some called me old fashioned, but I just couldn’t figure out why you needed a new high-tech gun, when the old classics seemed to be more reliable and better adapted to the type of work I did. I was a supe-officer, basically a cop for the supernatural community. Yes, the things that go bump in the night have come out to play. But they don’t necessarily bump, and they don’t always prefer the night; however, they do require a special type of policing. The supernatural community consists of all the fairy-tale and horror creatures you were told stories about as a child: Vampires, Were-animals, fairies, witches, goblins, and everything in between.
I’m in between. And that is the only reason I’m a supe-officer, more widely referred to as the Super-Squad, but only by the human officers. They liken us to superheroes, but joke we are like villains policing villains. Humans hate supes. The supernatural community requires a very specific lot of policing, because most of the supes are strong, easy to anger, and hard to kill. I was the only woman on any of the supe squads I knew about, and the only vampire half-breed I had ever heard of.
I fastened another small Velcro sheath around my waist, and nestled two 6” silver blades into the two pockets in it at the small of my back. My gun would stop just about anything, anything but were-animals and vampires. I’d emptied a magazine into a fugitive vampire once, and he’d just smiled until he met with the pointy end of my silver blade. Bullets would slow them down, but only silver would guarantee a kill. I tucked in my shirt, strapped the bottom of the holster around my belt, and noted as I pulled the belt tight I had gone down another rung. I actually had to make a new hole in the leather in order to hold my pants up. When was the last time I’d eaten? I couldn’t recall. I never much cared for food, and I had never and would NOT prey on the weak, even if it turned out I liked blood, I’d never tried it.
Stepping out of the locker room I was met with the sun from the corridor and had to keep from cringing. It didn’t hurt me, but I wasn’t fond of it, and I slipped on my old sunglasses in a familiar way. I hide behind them. I hide my eyes from the sun, and hide my nature from the majority of the humans. I walked to the supe-wing of the police station, and quickly made my way to the break-room for a coffee.
“Surprise!” A husky male voice shouted. It was a fraction of a second for me to pull my gun and aim it at the voice.
“Shit! Mason, it’s us!” My partner Jackson Crowley shouted defensively. He was hardly one to spook easily. The 6’7” officer was also a supe, he was a werebear, and looked the part. He was dark skinned and menacing in his black t-shirt, barely containing his musculature. I reholstered my weapon and grumbled.
“FUCK Crowley, don’t sneak up on me before I’ve had some coffee.” I said pushing through the bodies towards the steaming pitcher. I noticed James Baxter was laughing at the spectacle, he was a werewolf, ornery and just as huge as Crowley, JB’s partner was one of the two humans on the squad, Markus Smith, though he knew his supernatural community well, he was an expert in the magics, a wizard, and was wearing a non-threatening smile. The other human was our commanding officer, he didn’t see the field much, and he wasn’t participating in the annoyance at hand. I looked back at Crowley starting to get confused. “Why the hell are you all here so early?” It was a quarter to 7, and my partner was a notorious late riser.
I had just about made it to the coffee pot when I noticed Carmine Jacobson was in the way. He had an amused smirk on his face, and was intent on blocking me from my life-saver. He was the only Vampire on the squad, and the only Vampire on any daytime squad. For Vampires, the sun was one of the only sources of a true death. I overheard one time that he was just that old, old and powerful enough that the sun didn’t bother him, he also didn’t require a partner. Vampires are strong and cunning, probably even stronger than a were, though I’d never seen the two outright fight before. He disliked me intensely, always had since the 3 months ago he joined the squad. I didn’t much care for him either. The easy good-looks, and the amazing confidence made me want to puke. I looked my fill everyday though, hell, I’m half warm blooded woman too.
“Dude, she doesn’t remember.” Crowley said surprised. I quickly made a mental scan, and came up empty. “Mason, it’s your Birthday.” I looked around the room towards the calendar on the wall, November 20th, sure enough. I immediately blushed, then got pissed-off-angry at my public embarrassment, I couldn’t help it.
“Damnit Crowley, today is the same as any other day.” I shouted, and Carmine’s smirk about made me go berserk until he stepped away from the coffee pot and my sweet surrender was just seconds away. I took my first sip facing away from the crowd, and then worked up the nerve to face them again.
“Jesus, Mason, you got everyone together for drinks on my birthday, and everyone pitched in for the tickets to the baseball game. I just thought I would return the favor. But you don’t drink, and you don’t eat, and you don’t sleep. Please just eat a piece of your cake I brought. You look like you’re about to wither away.” His concern actually made my anger dissipate slightly. Sugar was a non-essential, and it was hard to come by, he must have used two months rations just to make this cake. I gave him a grin, walked over to the cake, grabbed a piece with my bare fingers and took a huge bite. He beamed like he’d won the lottery and I sauntered out of the room to my desk, trying to ignore the hails of laughter and snide comments about me being a typical difficult woman.
They all knew what I was, but they knew better than to bring it up or to question me. They just pretended I was a plain old human woman, and I liked it better that way. I didn’t fit into either group. I knew the second the sugary cake went down my throat, that it was a bad idea. My stomach rebelled and I just about retched into my wastebasket, but I kept it down for Crowley. I could only stomach a few things lately, steaks and other meats, mostly rare, anything else simply wouldn’t digest, and lately nothing would. It had been days since I’d last eaten. I was literally wasting away, and there was nothing I could do about it. I tried not to think about things out of my control, but I couldn’t help but feel a little worried. I was an anomaly, and the doctors were all stumped.
When I sat down at my desk there was a small present and a large envelope on it. I tackfully threw away the rest of the cake and wiped off my hands on a Kleenex. I opened the present first. It was from Crowley and the rest of the squad, a pair of aviator sunglasses, not exactly designer, but sturdy and functional. Since I never took off the glasses, I tended to wear them out fast. I appreciated the gift, and as everyone was settling at their desks for the day, I discretely took off my old glasses and stashed them in the desk. When I looked up momentarily before I had a chance to slip the new pair on, Carmine was staring intently at me, his violet eyes recognizing the violet in mine.
I quickly broke the gaze and slid the glasses home, but I could still feel his eyes on me as I opened the envelope. It was a fancy embossed and lined envelope, and the card it contained looked like it was written with hand calligraphy.
The Vampire King requests the pleasure of your company on the 20th of November, of the year 2028, at 10 o’clock in the evening. Sir Carmine Jacobson will escort you to the correct location.
I felt a sudden panic, tonight I would meet the most notorious Vampire in our City, and the Vampire King did not entertain. So this must be strictly business, and what business would a King of their race want with a half-breed like me? I looked up again at Carmine but he was typing steadily away on his computer, and everyone else was settled into the monotony of the day. I tucked this away in the desk as well, and excused myself to the ladies room. Sure enough, the cake came up.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Thoroughly Smitten



I went to see Thor on Sunday in IMAX 3D. For such a ridiculous storyline, it was surprisingly very good. Although I think the IMAX and the 3D helped, It made quite an impact on me.

Well....Thor made an impact on me.


At first, I really wasn't feeling him. In the beginning of the film he's arrogant and pigheaded.

But his character really develops throughout the film. He becomes this genuinely honest and very morally good man. He even cooks with Natalie Portman in the movie. Which is probably any woman's weakness.

When he took off he shirt, I think a growl escaped me.



I won't spoil any more of the movie than I already have, but its a must see for both men and most definitely women. ;)

\m/

Monday, April 18, 2011

Dream



Last night I dreamt of rock climbing.
I have only been to a rock climbing gym like 4 times in my life, and never climbed in real life, other than the few times I've gotten drunk and decided to climb trees.

In my dream I was lead. God only knows why, but I guess I must have been a guide of some sort. I just remember having this inexperienced girl right behind me so I could keep an eye on her. She actually looked a lot like me. We had gotten to a ledge, and we had to climb horizontally across this bridge for a while. I was going slowly and had to place anchors in the rock. The wind picked up and the girl behind me panicked and went for the next anchor, but I was on this one, and placing the next one. It came out of the rock and we both fell a few feet, until I managed to grasp a ledge a ways down. She is just dangling on the safety rope between me and the next guy, and I'm just holding our weight with my fingertips. I remember looking up and the group is climbing down to help, but my fingers are bleeding and I'm losing my grip. They manage to get to her, but she is so hysterical they are paying all the attention to her, trying to get her to safety. But I'm the one that is about to fall.

I woke up shortly after, never did plummett, or get rescued, my dream was left in limbo.
What does it all mean?

\m/

Monday, April 4, 2011

When Wasps Attack



The weather this weekend was glorious.
Saturday wasn't too windy, so we all went for a motorcycle ride.
Our little work biker gang.

We went over to Spavinaw and hit up a few hole in the wall bars on the trip.

In the wildlife conservation area it was wooded and beautiful. But where there is countryside there is also wildlife.

More specifically a wasp.

A wasp that just happened to make its way INTO my helmet. Like inside the visor...
that is after stinging me on the chin. What are the odds?

I'm not really scared of bees or wasps cause I'm not allergic, but hell if I panicked like a rookie when one was right next to my eyeball, stuck there and pissed off. I screached to a halt on the road and threw off my helmet as though it was on fire.

The weird thing is that I had forgotten to snap my helmet strap. I NEVER do that (safety first after all). I noticed it when we were going 70mph down highway 20 and the strap started banging the side of my head. I thought, thats weird, I never do that.

But I was sure glad it wasn't fastened, when it didn't take me 30 seconds to undo it while the agitated wasp had a chance to prime his little stinger again.


I have the worst luck ever.

\m/

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Mel/Jen Conversational Gems

Today's email:
Background: We ate at this Amish Sandwich place in Chouteau, OK.

From: Jen
Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2011 12:31 PM
To: Mel
Subject: lunch

How was lunch today? everyone behave?


From: Mel
Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2011 12:33 PM
To: Jen
Subject: RE: lunch

No there was a massive orgy right in front of the Amish people.

From: Jen
Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2011 12:33 PM
To: Mel
Subject: RE: lunch

I always miss the juicy stuff!!

Meeting Request Innuendo


Jen accepted the request stating: tentative.

From: Mel
Sent: Tuesday, March 08, 2011 1:40 PM
To: Jen
Subject: RE: Water Mel's Bush


Why so tentative?
It doesn’t bite.


Email regarding Infallible Coworker:

From: Mel
Sent: Thursday, July 01, 2010 2:45 PM
To: Jen
Subject: YES

LOIS SCREWED UP!
MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Bottle of Wine

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road .



As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.


Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at EVERYTHING she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

'What in bag?'asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.

Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:

'Good trade.....'


\m/

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Retaliation

"Revenge is a dish best served cold." -Marie Joseph Eugène Sue

Using this best of Craigslist ad, I posted it along with a picture of him in all the break rooms, men's restroom, and bulletin boards around work.

Looking for a Beard Mentor
I’ve had a moustache and beard off-and-on over the years, and I’ve tried styling it in the past but I just can’t seem to get it to the next level. I’m looking for some pro-tips with this, as well as possibly some styling services by someone with skilled hands. Please submit to me your beard/moustache resume. Also, if you have pictures of your achievements, that would be greatly appreciated.


\m/

Monday, March 14, 2011

Its on... like Donkey Kong

-A good prank is like a fine wine, they should just get better with time.-

Who says office morale is at an all time low?
It certainly doesn't show this morning.

Last summer, on one of the hottest days of the year, the air conditioner broke at our company. It was miserably hot inside. I left my office for a bit to deliver some things to other parts of the office, and when I returned, someone had turned on my little space heater and shut my door. It was like a sauna in my office, and completely unbearable for the rest of the day. I knew immediately who had done it, but I bided my time once he was confronted about it, telling him, when he least expected it I would get him back.

Months went by. I knew the longer time went by, the less likely I would be blamed for whatever happened to him. So I waited.

Then one day we put a Justin Bieber poster in my Coworkers office when he was gone a day from work. Somehow I get blamed solely for this. Who knew one harmless little ole' poster would explode into this pranking contest between me and this man?

I went on vacation this past week to Colorado to go to a wedding.
I took off Thursday and Friday from work.
When I come in this morning my tastefully decorated office has been vandalized.
Amongst my comic book collection they hung dirty pictures of Paris Hilton.






I told him:



\m/

Friday, February 25, 2011

Monday, February 21, 2011

Office Space = My life



Dom Portwood: Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.
Dom Portwood: Yeah. Did you get that memo?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.
Dom Portwood: Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!

Translation to my Life:

My Boss: Hi, Melody. What's up? We need to talk about your PO Letters.
Me: Yeah. I know, I know. Somehow I missed PR#99999. Uh, *bleep* talked to me about it.
My Boss: Yeah. Do you remember how I talked to you about needing those on every PR?
Me: Yeah. I know, I understand why we need them. I'm not perfect, somehow I missed one job, but I'll be more alert in the future, hopefully it won't happen again. So its not a problem anymore.
My Boss: Ah! Yeah. Its just that we need this to go out on every PR# regardless of whether the Salesman gets you the information you need or not (they'll throw you under the bus anyway), so try to be perfect from now on, that'd be great. All right!


I'm so on edge right now I've got a massive headache. I've also closed my door, hopefully to discourage anyone from trying to poke the beast.

grrr

\m/

Friday, February 18, 2011

So....tired....



Slumber, my dark lover, why have you forsaken me?

Mr. Sandman, please deliver me unto thy beach.

Oh the restful nights of lore.

I wish to lay upon thy shore.

Forever I contemplate my task,

Although I just long to bask,

In the dreamlike state of numbness that is sleep.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Addendum to Bloody Knuckles Post

Bloody Knuckles Post

So it was the latter.
Apparently I am starting fight clubs all over the place.
That place just happened to be my friend Weston's house last night.
In a somewhat drunken stupor, I found it to be pleasant to punch my friend Darin's (6'5"ish ex-cop) fists, and did the same to poor Weston.

I can barely close my fingers, type, eat... pretty much anything utilizing the full functioning of that hand.

I'm so clever.

\m/

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Damn Snow

So the Spa was amazing on Monday. Jen and I took a 1/2 day off work and went into Tulsa. We ate in Utica Square at the Olive Garden, then headed over to the spa.
It was literally 3 hours of massages. When we were getting our Facials, they were also massaging our arms and hands. They massaged our feet and scalp when we were getting our Aloe Vera Wrap -which I have to say was quite scandalous, standing there all but naked, even though they were nothing but professional (something about the disposable undies, yes, disposable thong undies none the less). Then we had an actual massage after all that. The full body massage (and it was full body). Awesome experience. They never stopped massaging. We were so relaxed.

But then my relaxation was ruined....

Monday Evening it stormed and snowed all night.
Then Tuesday it was white out conditions most of the day. So we all had to stay home, and our significant others' flights got cancelled and they had to stay in Vegas for another day - POOR THEM!

Wednesday they hadn't done much with the roads yet, but I got tired of it, and shovelled my driveway. I figured what with my 4x4 Jeep, if I could just get out of the driveway then I would be okay. So I shovelled, picked up stranded Jen, and we went to the one open restaurant in Pryor. McDonalds. It was, however, the best McDonald meal I've ever had. The lady told us it was going to have to be made to order today and we were psyched. (In the back of my mind though, I thought, its not usually made to order? EWW!)

Then the boys managed to get the first flight that they approved to be incoming to the Tulsa Airport, so I did the trek out to get them. The 40 miles ended up taking me 2 hours, then another 2 back!

Enough of this snow already, I'm an hourly employee, so I can't afford to miss any more work. But I am the only one here today at my company, save my hubby, and a few brave others.




Damn this infernal snow!

\m/


Muzicons.com

Monday, January 31, 2011

Spa Day



Well,I didn't get to go to ASHRAE. This big air conditioning and refrigeration convention in Las Vegas; however, my husband did.
So I'm at home alone, and basically at work alone, considering pretty much everyone in my department is gone.

So Jen and I booked a Spa package.
Today we are taking a 1/2 of vacation from work, and heading to Utica Square.
We are going to eat lunch and then get Aloe Vera Body Wraps, Facials, and 30 Minute body massages.

I really need this.

It will take our minds off of the fact that both of our significant others are in SIN CITY without us.

Then, if we are lucky, the weather will grant us the foot of snow that its been threatening to give, and we'll be stuck at home tomorrow.

-Here's hoping, no, not really.

\m/


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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I'm Becoming a James Bond Villain

My eye has been twitching lately. My right eye.
Pretty much for the past week or so, off and on.
A few people have mentioned it means I'm stressed.
I think it kinda makes me look sinister,
like I'm up to something.
I could be stressed, or I could be plotting the earth's demise.
Like a James Bond Villain.
Like LeChiffre with his bleeding tear duct.



Oh, I like this.
Actually no I dont...its really annoying...


Muahahahaha (Sinister laugh, in case you didn't catch that)

\m/


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Friday, January 7, 2011

End of the World?


Animal Death Mystery Article

Okay this is really starting to freak me out.
What is the deal?
I'm not ready to go quite yet.

Jen and I are going to live it up tonight at the Casino.
Better start seeing/experiencing the things you are missing before its too late.


\m/


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