Mel/Jen Conversational Gems

Today's email:
Background: We ate at this Amish Sandwich place in Chouteau, OK.

From: Jen
Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2011 12:31 PM
To: Mel
Subject: lunch

How was lunch today? everyone behave?


From: Mel
Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2011 12:33 PM
To: Jen
Subject: RE: lunch

No there was a massive orgy right in front of the Amish people.

From: Jen
Sent: Wednesday, March 30, 2011 12:33 PM
To: Mel
Subject: RE: lunch

I always miss the juicy stuff!!

Meeting Request Innuendo


Jen accepted the request stating: tentative.

From: Mel
Sent: Tuesday, March 08, 2011 1:40 PM
To: Jen
Subject: RE: Water Mel's Bush


Why so tentative?
It doesn’t bite.


Email regarding Infallible Coworker:

From: Mel
Sent: Thursday, July 01, 2010 2:45 PM
To: Jen
Subject: YES

LOIS SCREWED UP!
MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.

The Bottle of Wine

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road .



As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.


Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at EVERYTHING she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

'What in bag?'asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.

Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:

'Good trade.....'


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Retaliation

"Revenge is a dish best served cold." -Marie Joseph Eugène Sue

Using this best of Craigslist ad, I posted it along with a picture of him in all the break rooms, men's restroom, and bulletin boards around work.

Looking for a Beard Mentor
I’ve had a moustache and beard off-and-on over the years, and I’ve tried styling it in the past but I just can’t seem to get it to the next level. I’m looking for some pro-tips with this, as well as possibly some styling services by someone with skilled hands. Please submit to me your beard/moustache resume. Also, if you have pictures of your achievements, that would be greatly appreciated.


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Its on... like Donkey Kong

-A good prank is like a fine wine, they should just get better with time.-

Who says office morale is at an all time low?
It certainly doesn't show this morning.

Last summer, on one of the hottest days of the year, the air conditioner broke at our company. It was miserably hot inside. I left my office for a bit to deliver some things to other parts of the office, and when I returned, someone had turned on my little space heater and shut my door. It was like a sauna in my office, and completely unbearable for the rest of the day. I knew immediately who had done it, but I bided my time once he was confronted about it, telling him, when he least expected it I would get him back.

Months went by. I knew the longer time went by, the less likely I would be blamed for whatever happened to him. So I waited.

Then one day we put a Justin Bieber poster in my Coworkers office when he was gone a day from work. Somehow I get blamed solely for this. Who knew one harmless little ole' poster would explode into this pranking contest between me and this man?

I went on vacation this past week to Colorado to go to a wedding.
I took off Thursday and Friday from work.
When I come in this morning my tastefully decorated office has been vandalized.
Amongst my comic book collection they hung dirty pictures of Paris Hilton.






I told him:



\m/