"Revenge is a dish best served cold." -Marie Joseph Eugène Sue
Using this best of Craigslist ad, I posted it along with a picture of him in all the break rooms, men's restroom, and bulletin boards around work.
Looking for a Beard Mentor
I’ve had a moustache and beard off-and-on over the years, and I’ve tried styling it in the past but I just can’t seem to get it to the next level. I’m looking for some pro-tips with this, as well as possibly some styling services by someone with skilled hands. Please submit to me your beard/moustache resume. Also, if you have pictures of your achievements, that would be greatly appreciated.
\m/
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Its on... like Donkey Kong
-A good prank is like a fine wine, they should just get better with time.-
Who says office morale is at an all time low?
It certainly doesn't show this morning.
Last summer, on one of the hottest days of the year, the air conditioner broke at our company. It was miserably hot inside. I left my office for a bit to deliver some things to other parts of the office, and when I returned, someone had turned on my little space heater and shut my door. It was like a sauna in my office, and completely unbearable for the rest of the day. I knew immediately who had done it, but I bided my time once he was confronted about it, telling him, when he least expected it I would get him back.
Months went by. I knew the longer time went by, the less likely I would be blamed for whatever happened to him. So I waited.
Then one day we put a Justin Bieber poster in my Coworkers office when he was gone a day from work. Somehow I get blamed solely for this. Who knew one harmless little ole' poster would explode into this pranking contest between me and this man?
I went on vacation this past week to Colorado to go to a wedding.
I took off Thursday and Friday from work.
When I come in this morning my tastefully decorated office has been vandalized.
Amongst my comic book collection they hung dirty pictures of Paris Hilton.
I told him:
\m/
Who says office morale is at an all time low?
It certainly doesn't show this morning.
Last summer, on one of the hottest days of the year, the air conditioner broke at our company. It was miserably hot inside. I left my office for a bit to deliver some things to other parts of the office, and when I returned, someone had turned on my little space heater and shut my door. It was like a sauna in my office, and completely unbearable for the rest of the day. I knew immediately who had done it, but I bided my time once he was confronted about it, telling him, when he least expected it I would get him back.
Months went by. I knew the longer time went by, the less likely I would be blamed for whatever happened to him. So I waited.
Then one day we put a Justin Bieber poster in my Coworkers office when he was gone a day from work. Somehow I get blamed solely for this. Who knew one harmless little ole' poster would explode into this pranking contest between me and this man?
I went on vacation this past week to Colorado to go to a wedding.
I took off Thursday and Friday from work.
When I come in this morning my tastefully decorated office has been vandalized.
Amongst my comic book collection they hung dirty pictures of Paris Hilton.
I told him:
\m/
Friday, February 25, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Office Space = My life
Dom Portwood: Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.
Dom Portwood: Yeah. Did you get that memo?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.
Dom Portwood: Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!
Translation to my Life:
My Boss: Hi, Melody. What's up? We need to talk about your PO Letters.
Me: Yeah. I know, I know. Somehow I missed PR#99999. Uh, *bleep* talked to me about it.
My Boss: Yeah. Do you remember how I talked to you about needing those on every PR?
Me: Yeah. I know, I understand why we need them. I'm not perfect, somehow I missed one job, but I'll be more alert in the future, hopefully it won't happen again. So its not a problem anymore.
My Boss: Ah! Yeah. Its just that we need this to go out on every PR# regardless of whether the Salesman gets you the information you need or not (they'll throw you under the bus anyway), so try to be perfect from now on, that'd be great. All right!
I'm so on edge right now I've got a massive headache. I've also closed my door, hopefully to discourage anyone from trying to poke the beast.
grrr
\m/
Friday, February 18, 2011
So....tired....
Slumber, my dark lover, why have you forsaken me?
Mr. Sandman, please deliver me unto thy beach.
Oh the restful nights of lore.
I wish to lay upon thy shore.
Forever I contemplate my task,
Although I just long to bask,
In the dreamlike state of numbness that is sleep.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Addendum to Bloody Knuckles Post
Bloody Knuckles Post
So it was the latter.
Apparently I am starting fight clubs all over the place.
That place just happened to be my friend Weston's house last night.
In a somewhat drunken stupor, I found it to be pleasant to punch my friend Darin's (6'5"ish ex-cop) fists, and did the same to poor Weston.
I can barely close my fingers, type, eat... pretty much anything utilizing the full functioning of that hand.
I'm so clever.
\m/
So it was the latter.
Apparently I am starting fight clubs all over the place.
That place just happened to be my friend Weston's house last night.
In a somewhat drunken stupor, I found it to be pleasant to punch my friend Darin's (6'5"ish ex-cop) fists, and did the same to poor Weston.
I can barely close my fingers, type, eat... pretty much anything utilizing the full functioning of that hand.
I'm so clever.
\m/
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Damn Snow
So the Spa was amazing on Monday. Jen and I took a 1/2 day off work and went into Tulsa. We ate in Utica Square at the Olive Garden, then headed over to the spa.
It was literally 3 hours of massages. When we were getting our Facials, they were also massaging our arms and hands. They massaged our feet and scalp when we were getting our Aloe Vera Wrap -which I have to say was quite scandalous, standing there all but naked, even though they were nothing but professional (something about the disposable undies, yes, disposable thong undies none the less). Then we had an actual massage after all that. The full body massage (and it was full body). Awesome experience. They never stopped massaging. We were so relaxed.
But then my relaxation was ruined....
Monday Evening it stormed and snowed all night.
Then Tuesday it was white out conditions most of the day. So we all had to stay home, and our significant others' flights got cancelled and they had to stay in Vegas for another day - POOR THEM!
Wednesday they hadn't done much with the roads yet, but I got tired of it, and shovelled my driveway. I figured what with my 4x4 Jeep, if I could just get out of the driveway then I would be okay. So I shovelled, picked up stranded Jen, and we went to the one open restaurant in Pryor. McDonalds. It was, however, the best McDonald meal I've ever had. The lady told us it was going to have to be made to order today and we were psyched. (In the back of my mind though, I thought, its not usually made to order? EWW!)
Then the boys managed to get the first flight that they approved to be incoming to the Tulsa Airport, so I did the trek out to get them. The 40 miles ended up taking me 2 hours, then another 2 back!
Enough of this snow already, I'm an hourly employee, so I can't afford to miss any more work. But I am the only one here today at my company, save my hubby, and a few brave others.
Damn this infernal snow!
\m/
Muzicons.com
It was literally 3 hours of massages. When we were getting our Facials, they were also massaging our arms and hands. They massaged our feet and scalp when we were getting our Aloe Vera Wrap -which I have to say was quite scandalous, standing there all but naked, even though they were nothing but professional (something about the disposable undies, yes, disposable thong undies none the less). Then we had an actual massage after all that. The full body massage (and it was full body). Awesome experience. They never stopped massaging. We were so relaxed.
But then my relaxation was ruined....
Monday Evening it stormed and snowed all night.
Then Tuesday it was white out conditions most of the day. So we all had to stay home, and our significant others' flights got cancelled and they had to stay in Vegas for another day - POOR THEM!
Wednesday they hadn't done much with the roads yet, but I got tired of it, and shovelled my driveway. I figured what with my 4x4 Jeep, if I could just get out of the driveway then I would be okay. So I shovelled, picked up stranded Jen, and we went to the one open restaurant in Pryor. McDonalds. It was, however, the best McDonald meal I've ever had. The lady told us it was going to have to be made to order today and we were psyched. (In the back of my mind though, I thought, its not usually made to order? EWW!)
Then the boys managed to get the first flight that they approved to be incoming to the Tulsa Airport, so I did the trek out to get them. The 40 miles ended up taking me 2 hours, then another 2 back!
Enough of this snow already, I'm an hourly employee, so I can't afford to miss any more work. But I am the only one here today at my company, save my hubby, and a few brave others.
Damn this infernal snow!
\m/
Muzicons.com
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